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Disney presents
in association with Twentieth Century Fox
(Text appears) A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....
(Star Wars) intro plays
Episode VIII
THE LAST JEDI
The FIRST ORDER reigns. Having decimated the peaceful Republic, Supreme Leader Snoke now deploys his merciless legions to seize military control of the galaxy.
Only General Leia Organa's band of RESISTANCE fighters stand against the rising tyranny, certain that Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will return and restore a spark of hope to the fight.
But the Resistance has been exposed. As the First Order speeds toward the rebel base, the brave heroes mount a desperate escape....
Snoke: When I found you I saw raw untamed power, and beyond that, something truly special.
Snoke: You have too much of your father’s heart in you, young Solo.
Rey: I know this place.
Kylo Ren: I killed Han Solo. When the moment came, I didn’t hesitate.
Snoke: And look at you, the deed split your spirit to the bone. You were unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber! You failed! Skywalker lives. The seed of the Jedi Order lives. And as long as it does, hope lives in the galaxy. I thought you would be the one to snuff it out. Alas, you’re no Vader. You’re just a child in a mask.
Rey: I know this place.
Luke Skywalker: Built a thousand generations ago to keep these. The original Jedi texts. Just like me, they’re the last of the Jedi religion. You’ve seen this place. You’ve seen this island.
Rey: Only in dreams.
Luke Skywalker: Who are you?
Rey: The Resistance sent me.Luke Skywalker: Who are you?
Luke Skywalker: Who are you?
Rey: The Resistance sent me.
Luke Skywalker: They sent you? What’s special about you? Where are you from?
Rey: Nowhere.
13 Minutes Later...
Stable Kid: Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master.
Phineas: Boring!
Isabella: Uh, Phineas, the movie's over.
Phineas: I can't believe we're paying to see something we get on TV for free. If you ask me, everybody in this theater is in the movie. Especially you!
Billie Joe: ♪There's 104 days of summer vacation And school comes along just to end it So the annual problem for our generation Is finding a good way to spend it♪.
Green Day: ♪Like maybe...♪
Billie Joe: ♪Building a rocket Or fighting a mummy Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower. Discovering something that doesn't exist.♪
Phineas: Hey!
Billie Joe: ♪Or giving a monkey a shower.♪
Green Day: ♪Surfing tidal waves, Creating nanobots, Or locating Frankenstein's brain.♪
Phineas: It's over here!
Green Day: ♪Finding a dodo bird, Painting a continent, Or driving your sister insane.♪
Candace: Phineas!
(At a Concert are Green day Keeps playing and Phineas and Ferb Theme and the crowd cheers. Linda is carried but is released into the ground.)
Linda: Excuse me. My car is parked.
Green Day: ♪So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all, So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are Gonna do it all!♪
Candace: Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a Motion Picture title sequence!
(The music ends.)
Billie Joe: All right, well, thanks a lot for coming. We've been playing for three and a half hours. Now we'd like just a minute of your time to say something about the environment.
[Silence occurs and the crowd throwing bottles at them and boo and hiss them.]
- Dr Doofenshmirtz: Loser!
- Baljeet: Oh, for crying out loud! Be quiet and play!
- Irving: Cheaters!
- Mike: We're not cheaters.
- Tré Cool: But the pollution in your stage, it's ruining the entire concert.
- Isabella: I thought they touched on a vital issue.
- Albert: I beg to differ.
- Mike: Gentlemen, it's been an honor playing with you tonight.
[Green Day starts playing and the Concert is Destroyed. Isabella looks worried. In the church of Danville a funeral version of "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" is playing.]
- Beppo: For the latest rock band to pass away in our town and We must confess to ourselves. Are you with me?
- The group: Yes.
[Outside the church are the Flynn Fletcher family coming.]
- Candace: I hate being late.
- Phineas: Well, I hate going. Why can't I build stuff in here like that?
- Candace: Phineas, they can hear you inside.
- Phineas: Relax. These guys are too busy talking to their whatever.
[The Flynn Fletcher family coming in and the audience staring at them. The family goes and sits down.]
- Phineas: How you doing? Excuse me. Pardon me.
[Ferb plays Animal Agent Blast. Perry takes out the game card and shoves it down his Hat.]
- Beppo: Today I'd like to try something a little different. I'm going to call on one of you!
[Beppo points to the audience, they all cower down in fear, Irving screams.]"
- Beppo: Now, Everyone Else I want you to let that word out. Let your spirit...
[Jeremy raises his hand.]
- Jeremy: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
- Beppo: [unhappily] What is it, Jeremy?
- Jeremy: The guy is telling me to confess to something.
[Phineas keeps fingers crossed and whispers.]
- Phineas: Love, love, love, love.
- Jeremy: An immodest sense of pride in our community.
- Beppo: [annoyed] Somebody else? Let it light shine upon you. Feel the spirit. Let it out!
[Lawrence is sleeping and wakes up when the sun hits his head and gets up and acts weird.]
- Lawrence: Horrible, horrible things are going to happen! [Linda is filming that with his cell phone.] And they're gonna happen to you! And you! And you! And you. Oh Dear! Citizens of Danville, heed this warning: Twisted tail! A thousand eyes! Trapped forever!
- Isabella: Phineas, do something!
[Phineas flicks through the "Holy Bible".]
- Phineas: This book doesn't have any answers!
- Lawrence: [yelling, slowly] Beware! Beware! Time is short! EEPA!! EEPA!!! EEEEEEPAAAAAA!!!!!!! Believe me! Believe me! [cheerfully] Thanks for listening.
[The Flynn Fletcher family goes out the church with Lawrence rolled in a rug and go to the car.]
- Phineas: Okay, who wants waffles?
- Ferb/Isabella/Lawrence: I do, I do, I do!
- Candace: Wait a minute. What about Dad?
- Ferb: I want syrup!
- Isabella: I want strawberries!
- Candace: Something happened to that man.
- Phineas: I'll tell you what happened to him. A certain someone had a senior moment. But that's okay, because we love him and we got a free rug out of it.
[Phineas kisses Lawrence on the forehead.]
- Candace: What is the point of going to church every Sunday when if someone we love has a genuine religious experience, we ignore it? Right, Dad?
- Lawrence: I want bananas on my waffles!
- Phineas: I rest my case.
[The family arrives, Candace goes out of the car first and then the others except Lawrence]
- Candace: I'm not dropping this.
- Lawrence: Wait a minute! I'm still in the car.
[Phineas looks at his list of chores. He ticks off "Go to church" and looks at "Take out the hornets' Nest".]
- Phineas: Oh, right. Take out hornets' nest.
[Phineas takes down the hornets' nest and put it in the Johnson mailbox.]
- Phineas: Check. Fix Portal.
[Phineas is in the garden and put Perry over the Portal.]
- Phineas: Check. Re-shingle roof?
[Phineas and Ferb are on the ceiling and Phineas tries to repair the roof.]
- Phineas: Steady. Steady.
[Phineas gets the hammer in the eye, causing him to yell in pain and Ferb laughs.]
- Phineas: Wait a Minute! Ferb, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today.
- Ferb: You know, we are on the roof. We could have some fun.
- Phineas: What kind of fun, Ferb?
- Ferb: How about a dare contest?
- Phineas: That sounds fun. I dare you to climb the TV antenna!
[Ferb climbs up to the antenna]
- Ferb: Piece of cake.
- Phineas: Earthquake!
[Phineas shakes the TV antenna so Ferb falls down and hangs on the drainpipe.]
- Phineas: Aftershock!
[Phineas shakes again.]
- Jeremy: Phineas, I don't mean to be a Nervous Pervis but if he falls, couldn't that make your Brother a paraplege-arino?
- Phineas: Hey, Jeremy.
- Ferb: How's it Hangin'.
- Jeremy: Oh, Just Hanging out With My Little Sister. No Offense, Suzy.
- Suzy: No Problem.
- Phineas: Oh, Okay.
[Phineas and Ferb high five and Phineas prepares to hammer Ferb's fingers.]
- Phineas: Steady. Steady. Steady.... Waoh![He falls through the roof and Ferb laughs.]
- [Isabella is in the neighborhood and talking about Danville Lake but will be denied all the time.]
- Isabella: Hello. Sorry to bother you on a Sunday but I'm sure you're as worried about the pollution in Lake Danville as I am. Lake Danville has higher levels of mercury than ev...
- Women: Why, it's the little girl who saved my cat.
- Isabella: Lake Danville is...
- [Isabella sighs and doors closed and the Sea Captain drive away with his houseboat.]
- Django: Come on over, Isabella. You can canvass me as long as you want.
- Isabella: Django, you don't care about the environment.
- Django: Hey. I am very passionate about the planet.
- Nate: Say global warming is a myth, Nerd.
- Django: It's a myth! Further study is needed!
- [Nate knocks down Django.]
- Nate: That's for selling out your beliefs, Nerd.
- [Isabella and Django go to console him but are quickly someone else to talk about the environment.]
- Isabella: Oh, poor Django.
- Django: Dream coming true.
- Meriuma: Are you aware that a leaky facet can waste over?
- Isabella: Two thousand gallons a year.
- Meriuma: Turning off lights can save...
- Isabella: Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.
- Meriuma: And if we kept our thermostats at 68 in winter...
- Isabella: We'd be free from our dependency on foreign oil in 17 years.
- Meriuma: I'm Meriuma.
- Isabella: I haven't seen you Since Yesterday. Anyways, Whatcha Doin'
- Meriuma: Oh, i Was hanging out with my mom and dad.
- Isabella: Are They...?
- Meriuma: They got married.
- Isabella: I just know that your parents got married in...
- Meriuma: 3 seasons ago. I get it.