Even though Cerb Coyote talks way more than his human counterpart, he's equally able to sum up words of wisdom in a few sentences or less. NOTE: these are all written in what a Brooklyn/New York dialect (Cerb's accent) should sound like.
|Fan Fiction Episode||Quote|
|"Roadrunner Catcher"||Coyoteas: Well, he is a platypus. They don't do much. Cerb: They're da' only mammals dat lay eggs."|
|"Coyodance Loses Her Head"||"Well, it was definitely better than the gorilla in the cake."|
|"Are You My Mummy?"||"Ya' know, mummies have their brains pulled out tru' their nose."|
|"Flop Stars"||"Baby, baby, baby, baby..." (sung as "babe-ah, babe-ah, babe-ah, babe-ah")|
|"Fast and Furry-ous Jr."||"We're gonna need a loooooot of ACME."|
|"Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Error"||
Radio announcer: And speaking of hot, slather on the sunscreen, listeners, 'cause tomorrow's weather calls for another scorcher!
Cerb: Wit' a slight chance of scattered lawn gnomes.
Sings in "Backyard Beach"
|"The Magnificent Few"||"I reckon hoydin' cattle ain't for city folk."|
|"Wummer"||"It's winter and summer combined like, ya' know. Take "Brangelina" for example."|
|"Road Rage"||Meeper: So, same thing tomorrow?Coyoteas: Nah, I like to keep moving forward.Cerb: Sharks have ta' keep movin' forward, or they'll drown.Meeper: You calling me a shark, Coyote?!|
[Cerb pinches pressure point on the neck and Meeper falls down]Coyoteas: Cerb!Cerb: Well, he was all up in mah face. Like I'm gonna give him rabies *pft*.
|"Lights, Coyote, Action!"||Coyoteas: Enjoy it while you can, Coyodance. Fame is fleeting.Cerb: But th' Internet is forever.|
|"Get That Bigfoot Outta My Face"||Grandpa Cagey: Still a coyote of few words, I see.Cerb: Well, actually, I... Meh.|
|"Tree To Get Ready"||Coyoteas: Well Mom, you know what they say...Cerb: Fun never falls too far from da' tree house!|
|"Mom's Birthday"||"[Our card is] a simple jazzed-up fusion of origami and pop-up. You like?"|
|"Journey to the Center of Coyodance"||Coyoteas: Yeah, we're inside Coyodance's stomach.Cerb: That's creepy to da' max.---- Coyoteas: [looking through Coyoteas's eyes] Coyodance is on her date with Catastrophe. That means we're on a date with Catastrophe.Cerb: Again, creepy to da' max!|
|"Jerk Du Soleil||"I guess Meeper kinda amazing for being that stupid."|
|"Toy to the World"||"Yuck, that dude ain't wearin' no clothes."---- Coyoteas: Now who would buy a brick for a toy?Cerb: It don't do nuttin'.|
|"It's About Time!"||"This could be a major problem."---- Coyoteas: Hmmm. It just occurred to me I may have misspelled 'time machine' as 'tie machine' on the plans.Cerb: Meh, I hope that ain't gonna to be a problem. Yeah, right! Like they're gonna build a tie machine out of time machine blueprints.|
|"A Hard Day's Night"||"I hear there's a new version of Good Fellas in theaters."|
|"One Good Scare Ought To Do It!||Coyoteas: That was a great day, Cerb. What did you think was the creepiest thing?Cerb: I gotta go wit' da' giant floating baby head.|
|"Run Away Runway"||Coyodance: But just remember: Gaston said I'll always be his cou de douleur!Cerb: You do realize that's French for "Pain neck"?|
|"I Yowl, You Yowl"||"Hellooooooooo nurse!"|
|"It's a Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb World"||"Because, she's a tire-spinning, gear-grinding, clutch-burning, backfiring, paint-trading, red-lining, overheating-throttle-stomping, truck-driving girl."|
|"The Ballad of Bad Beard"||"...And I'll refuse to take a bath."---- Coyoteas: Well Cerb, me old matey, our first time out as pirates and we come home with a bounty of beards!Cerb: And perhaps the greatest pirate story ever told.|
|"Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together!"||"(Does a Yakko Warner ehhhhhhhhhh) can we take that as a 'yes'?"---- "Well, don't jus' stand there man, kiss her!"|
|"Ready for the Bettys"||"Well, I-"---- "(Yakko Warner ehhhhh)-"---- "Actually-"---- "Look, for the last time dude, I didn't-"
"You're tickin' me off."
"How-ooooooo! I give up!"
|"The Legendary Roadrunner Mauler"||"When he was young, he hunted a lot of stuff."---- "Don't look at me! I got no idea."|
|"Boyfriend from 27,000 B.C.."||Coyoteas: They say if you love something, let it go.Cerb: Especially if it's a caveman.|
|"Voyage to the Bottom of Meeper"||"Yup, it usually takes us at least a montage."|
|"Crack that Whip"||"Good catch, Catastrophe"|
|"The Best Lazy Day Ever"||"Lookadat. Bugs Bunny. He seems much faster on TV."|
|"Greece Lightning"||Coyoteas: It's okay, Cerb, she's gone. You can look now.Cerb: Nope.Coyoteas: Hey look, there's Larry.Cerb: No matter how much you try, I ain't lookin'.|
|"Leave the Outsmarting to Us!"||"You know, gladiators were Roman, not Greek."---- "And that is why I will never wear clothes in public."|
|"Out of Toon"||"A hero is a hero, but everyone loves a good villain."|
|"Hail Doofania!"||"You know, a self-destruction button is a stupid idea."|
|"Put that Putter Away"||"I don't know why we didn't build it here in the first place. *facepalm*"|
|"Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?"||"You might consider takin' a shower foyst."|
|"Traffic Cam Chaos"||"What did I miss?"|
|"Bowl-R-Ama Drama"||"Wait for it..."|
|"Out to Launch"||"Coyodance, we are just pups!"|
|"Got Game?"||"She's on a roll, baby!"---- "That was completely out of character."|
|"Comet Kermillian"||"Actually, you'd be 88 1/2."|
|"The Monster of Coyoteas-n-Cerbenstien"||"Platypus monsters are th' only monsters dat lay eggs."|
|"Oil on Coyodance"||Coyoteas: There's no higher place of honor than the fridge.Cerb: Especially a giant fridge.|
|"Unfair Science Fair"||"But dat's anudder story."|
|"Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)"||Coyoteas: Cerb speaks Martian!Coyodace: Tell them I wanna walk alone.Cerb:Meht tuohtiw ton tub enif yas yeht.Martians: Arrabata dutch! Cerb: Dey say fine, but not widdout dem.|
|"Coyoteas and Cerb Get Outsmarted"||Coyodance: Oooh, I almost forgot! Larry was in the dream too, dressed like a super-secret agent or something.Cerb: Maybe dat's where he goes every day.|
|"The Lake Nose Monster"||"No. It found us."---- "Well, if such a creature did exist, I believe its habitat and safety would be all our responsibility to look after and protect."|
|"Interview with a Platypus"||Cerb imitates Larry's chitter perfectly|
|"Tip of the Day"||None|
|"Attack of the 50 Foor Coyote!"||"Meh, either that or everything else in the universe just got bigger."|
|"Backyard Aquarium"||Cerb: Well, you know what dey say. If you love somethin', let it go.Coyoteas: Yeah, we do it every day with Larry!|
|"Day of the Living Gelatin"||"Check it out!" *does a backflip and misses the Jell-O landing on the ground with a crazy expression on his face"|
|"Elementary, My Dear Babs"||"I'll never understand fashion."|
|"Don't Even Blink"||"Well, we were all watching it. And quantum theory states the mere observation of an experiment changes its outcome."|
|"Chez Platypus"||"Meh, the public is stupid."|
|"Larry Lays an Egg"||"That's not just any bird. That's a rare whale song-singing double-breasted angle hooper. The natural enemy of the platypus in the wild-- and a delicacy to coyotes!" *starts chasing the bird with a fork and knife*|
|"Gaming the System"||"So, do what we did."|
|"The Chronicles of Meap"||"Well, I ain't no Xzibit....'"---- "That's no cloud. That's a space station. Geez. It don't even look like a cloud."|
|"Wolfeas and Werb"||Coyoteas: Gum me.Cerb: Puh-lease.---- Coyoteas: Coyodance, we don't do this to compete. We do it for fun.Cerb: And for the ladies. Yowl-oooooooooo! Helloooooooooooo nurses! *his eyes turn into hearts then he faints*---- "We don't, however, have a licorice dispenser. Dat mah friend was a nice touch."|
|"De Plane! De Plane!"||(After Coyoteas asks about the co-pilots instruments) "Check."---- Sings in The Paper Pelican Floor Show|
|"Let's Take a Quiz"||(Referring to the shrunken down game set) "Well, I guess we could call that the home version."|
|"At the Carwash"||"You're not very street. You wanna see street? Lissen to the way I always talk."---- (Referring to the Giant Starnose Mole) "Oh, I think he can take care of himself."|
|"Oh, There you Are Larry"||Sings in Come Home, Larry|
|"Swiss Family Coyoteas"||Coyodance: You're givin' a monkey a shower?!Cerb: Yep, had to be done.|
|"Hide and Seek"||"Maybe the problem is not that the house is too small, but that we are too big."|
|"That Sinking Feeling"||"Coyoteas: Now, this is a ship. My, she's yar. Is she ready to sail?Cerb: She's ship-shape and Bristol-fashioned.Coyoteas: What does that mean?Cerb: Meh. What does yar mean?|
|"The Rolling Horses"||None that were funny|
|"Vannessasary"||Trixie: Cerb, honey, aren't you a little old to be playing in the ball pit?Cerb: Yeh. yeh, I am.Trixie: Okay, then.Vanessa: Your name is Cerb? I know a guy named Ferb. We broke up.Cerb: Das nice. Well, yeah, it's short for— Oh, here's your thing.|
|"No More Bunny Business"||Coyodance: This is an actual living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments.Cerb: So why is he wearing a tutu? *pft* *starts laughing*Coyodance: *grabs Cerb's snout forcefully causing it to make a squeak sound* He likes it!|
|"Spa Day"||Coyoteas: What, do you say Cerb it'll give you a chance to do your seaweed rap. You know: (rapping) Hyah!Cerb: *looks up to sky and prays in head* Okay.|
|"Coyoteas and Cerb's Quantum Boogaloo"||Emily: Did you hear that? Aunt Emily! That means I gonna marry Coyoteas!Coyodance: Or Cerb.|
Cerb turns around, and says "Helloooooooo nurse!" to Emily, who is startled, and begins to worry as she realizes the possibility.---- "Well, at least we know she mellows with age."---- Coyoteas: Well, looks like we don't have to go to the future after all.Cerb: Some other time, 'kay?
|"Coyoteas and Cerb's Musical Cliptastic Countdown""||Coyoteas: Hey, where's Larry?Cerb: He's makin' a special appearance with his brother on a music video clip special.Coyoteas: Hm. Well, good for him.|
|"Bubble Boys"||Coyoteas: That was Coyodace chasing us!Cerb: I hope she hasn't learned how to catch things yet!|
|"Serenity and the Temple of Sap"||None that were funny|
|"Cheer Up, Coyodance"||"So, how about dat airline food?"|
|"Fireside Girl Jamboree"||"Hey, where's Larry?"---- Coyoteas: Ooh, that's going to leave a mark.Cerb: Yeh, on the alligator.|
|"The Roadrunner Code"||"Dang, no. Slushy dogs never get any better."|
|"Finding Suzy Sniffles"||"This is exactly why dat doll was taken off the market."|
|"Picture this"||"If it's okay wit' you, Dad, we're gonna to build da' machine."|
|"Coyote Dancin''"||"Well, it looks like mah work here is done."|
|"What Do It Do?"||Cerb: Well, if you reverse engineer the canine, bird, horse, or human heart, you're bound to find love at its core.Meeper: And gross smushy red stuff!Cerb: Yes, love and gross smushy red stuff.Irving: And ventricles!Cerb: Ehhhhhhhhh, I think ventricles are gross squishy red stuff.|
|"Atlantis"||"Maybe the lost city of Atlantis wanted ta' stay lost."|
|"Coyoteas and Cerb Christmas Vacation"||Coyoteas: Cerb, what did you wish for?Cerb: Well, take a look-see at dis mornin's paper.Coyoteas: World peace?Cerb: Try again. This one down here.Coyoteas: Local coyote gets rocket skates. Hey, nice picture.|
|"Just Passing Through"||Coyodance: ...and Catastrophe was like "Yeah, are you going?" and— (notices that Cerb, Emily, Serenity, Meeper, and Whicker are staring at the wall) Hey!Cerb, Serenity, Emily, Whicker, and Meeper: Hey.|
|"Coyodance's Big Day"||
Cerb: They say the step you're about to take is the beginning of your greatest adventure yet. Coyoteas: Little corny there, bro. Cerb: Just along wit' the script.
Coyoteas: Oh, yeah.
|"I Was a Coyote Robot"||Fireside Girls: Bubble gum, bubble gum, running in a sack.Cerb: Hop to the finish and don't look back.|
|"Suddenly Suzy"||Coyoteas: Niagara Falls? Know anything about that, C-man?Cerb: It's over 167 feet high. It's also really hackin' popular with daredevils.|
Carl: So, Cerb, you don't talk much, do you? Cerb: Well, I- Carl: What's that over there?
|"Hip Hip Parade"||Meeper: Miss you, Whicker.Whicker: Right back at ya' bud.Cerb: Wow.|
|"Invasion of the Cerb-Snatchers"||Coyodace: Get out! And then?Cerb: Once they've replaced more than fifty-one percent of all the dogs, they can take over the Earth.Coyodance: Shut Up! And?---- Cerb's cousin: Dang, I wish you were there Cerb!Cerb: So do I, tell Uncle Techy and Aunt Laura thanks for the candy.Cerb's cousin: Dat's right. Brooklyn out, peace!|
|"Ain't No Kiddie Ride"||None that were funny.|
|"Not Coyoteas and Cerb"||Coyoteas: Space adventure, it's an adventure in... You know what, Cerb?Cerb: We're over it.Coyoteas: Yes, yes we are.|
|"Coyoteas and Cerb-Busters"||Trixie: Who wants pie?Babs: Me.Buster: Me.Coyodance: Me...Coyoteas, Whicker, Serenity, Emily and Cerb: Us!|
|"The Lizard Whisperer"||"Give up? Give up?! Da' day might come when we'll give up on pointless searches after 11 minutes, but dat day is NOT today! The day may come when our favorite reptile maybe lost from our memories and his awesome love of mushrooms forgotten, but dat day is not today! Today we search! We will search for him in the streets, we will search for him in the trenches, we will search for him in the alleys and the mini-malls and the cul-de-sacs of this fair land. We will search for him in the multi-level car parks and municipal recreation facilities. And we few, we happy few, we small band of brothers - and girlfriends. We shall not stop 'till he is found! Hoo!"|
|"Robot Rodeo"||"(background voice) Cowgirls and cowpokes, welcome to the Coyote rose rodeo!"---- "All right, cowboys and cowgirls, it's time to get along, little doggie. Or even a short little doggie. Heck, I'm here all week! Try the veal!"|
|"The Dustdog"||Coyoteas: Come on, we gotta tell Emily and Serenity that we're the Dustdog.(Cerb coughs and points at the Beak suit)Coyoteas: Fine, we can take the suit.---- Serenity: I thought there will be some clues in the photos I took that can help him stop Khaka Peü Peü?(Cerb snorts and goes into a laugh attack)----
Emily: By the way, Coyoteas. You were very brave. Coyoteas: Thanks, you were too.
(Coyoteas, Serenity and Emily walk away without Cerb) Cerb: Um, yo? I'm da' other half of da' Dustwolf. (sigh) I guess there's no glory in thighs. Meh.
|"Wizard of Ow Jr."||Coyoteas: While this IS fun, it's a little girly for us, isn't it? Cerb: Well, it is Coyodance's dream.---- Coyodance: Did you say fun?Cerb: Often, the most fun can be found in your own backyard.|