Gold, Silver, Bronze and Doof



Phineas and his stepbrother Ferb were both going for a walk, the walk that would lead to their adventure seen in Fhqwhgads-2's 'Phineas and Ferb: Spitting Image' fanfic. Before they left, Phineas suddenly said, "Hey, where's Perry?"

Title: Gold, Silver, Bronze & Doof [aka The Doof Games]

Perry slipped up into the living room, put on his fedora, and jumped into the hole behind the picture seen in 'Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension'. He appeared in his lair, where his mission briefer, Major Francis Monogram appeared on screen. Except, he was somehow or other, standing on a huge stool, in only his underpants.

"Hey, Agent P. Sorry about the tiny major on the huge stool, but Carl tested me for his new shrinking ray, and well... see for yourself." Indeed, Perry COULD see. The shrunken Monogram continued with the mission briefing. "He said it's a malfunction and he's sorting out all the bugs in it. Anyway, Dr Doofenshmirtz is at Danville Park at some Olympic-Games event. Can you go sort it out?" Perry saluted, then got on his moped and drove off to Danville Park, going the opposite direction to Phineas and Ferb. [By the way, Phineas and Ferb won't have much screentime.]

"DOOFENSHMIRTZ AT AN OLYMPIC GAMES-LIKE EVENT!" went the usual DEI jingle singers. Dr Doofenshmirtz saw Perry arrive, and almost instantly, he tied him up in a ribbon similar to what people in the Olympics use for Rhythmic Ribbon. "Ah, Perry the Platypus. So nice of you to come here. And why am I here, you may ask? Well, as you know, today is the Danville Games, a day when my brother Roger plays some Olympic-like games against someone. Whoever that is, only he knows, because he's the mayor. This year, he picked me, even though I cheated in the election..."

Flashback:

A crowd is gathered at the town hall, on the day before the Danville games, seen in the crowd are Love Handel, 2 Guys N The Parque, Professor Poofenplotz, Phineas and Ferb's lookalikes Thaddeus and Thor, their sister Mandy and the movie producer from 'Lights, Candace, Action!' Doofenshmirtz is seen in the crowd also. Roger: Now, as you all know, tomorrow is the Danville games, where I, your most handsome Mayor, Roger Doofenshmirtz, plays against someone whose name I draw from this hat. Get ready to vote, and remember, it is not about winning, it's about FUN! Everyone signs their name on a small bit of paper and puts it in a top hat. When it is passed to Doof at the end of the line, he empties out all the other bits of paper, and puts his name in. Roger grabs the hat and pulls out Doof's name. Roger: And my opponent is... my own brother, Heinz Doofenshmirtz! The crowd cheers, Doof smirks.

End Flashback

"And there you have it. But you know, my brother Roger has a winning streak as long as... well... as a long thing. And i have a losing streak as long as... well... as a long thing. So I'm determined to win by all possible means... even if it involves... cheating! You know what my motto is? I'll tell you. 'Dig it down deep and break that streak!'" Perry rolled his eyes.

Soon the events started. The first event was the 110m Hurdles. Doofenshmirtz and Roger lined up. Soon the piston fired, and Roger and Doof were off. Somehow or other, Doofenshmirtz seemed to slip through all his hurdles with ease and win. Unbeknownst to Roger, Doof had invented a miniature version of that device Phineas and Ferb made in the episode 'Just Passing Through' to slip through all the hurdles when he touched them.

Next was the pole vault. Roger went first, being the mayor of Danville and all. However, Doofenshmirtz had replaced his pole with a fragile one, and when he bent back, the pole snapped and Roger fell slap bang flat onto his butt, and his jump ended up foul. Doofenshmirtz bounced right over the bar and landed face first, on the crash-mat. But it still counted, though.

Next up, was the long jump. Roger went first, being the mayor of Danville and all. and he jumped very well. Doofenshmirtz went up, and jumped, also activating an invisible jetpack with the sound of the motor turned down so he could go far and cheat at the same time. Perry watched from where he was tied up.

Next, up came the Discus throw. Both Roger and Doof would get one throw each. Also, the rules stated that only the special Danville Games Disc would be allowed for use. Doofenshmirtz however had a special remote controlled flying saucer disguised as a special Danville Games Disc. Roger went first, being the mayor of Danville and all, but somehow or other, his disc went around the captured Perry and landed a mere 3 feet from his standing position! Doof's flying saucer disc went flying so high it went up into outer space!

Next was archery. Both Roger and Doof would take turns firing 3 arrows onto a target. Whoever had the most after 3 shots won the event. Roger would go first, being the mayor of Danville and all, followed by his brother Doofenshmirtz. On his first attempt, Doofenshmirtz pulled the target away from Roger, making his first shot count as 0. But he moved it back in time for Roger to take the second shot, which scored 7 and the last shot got Roger 5 points, making a total of 12. Doofenshmirtz went up. However, nobody noticed he'd stuck 3 arrows together, making it look like one arrow, so he'd take all 3 turns in one. And he'd set up a false target, making the arrow[s] strike the golden middle which would score the lucky hitter 10 points. As a result, all 3 struck the false middle as well as the middle of the real target, earning him 60 points!

And last, but not least, there was the 100m Freestyle. When the pistol fired, Doof got in and Roger jumped, but Doof had fastened his swim trunks to a rope tied to a post, so Roger jumped in... without his trunks. Perry stifled laughter at this, and in the process, got himself untied. Roger was so embarrased, and he had to swim back to get them and lose time. Because of that, Doofenshmirtz managed to win.

At the award ceremony, Roger was so surprised, as he saw Doofenshmirtz was the winner, and about to win a big trophy. But Perry was watching something on a camera - it was Doofenshmirtz making the fake disc and controlling it. And it also showed Doof tampering with the poles, all so he could win. He showed the video to a marshal, who then called out, "STOP!" And he showed the video of Doof with his fake equipment, even the fake disc orbiting the moon, and showed the invisible jetpack by wiping the paint off. As a result, Doofenshmirtz was disqualified and Roger was the winner. "CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" Doofenshmirtz screamed. And to make the torment even worse, Doofenshmirtz was made to rub his brother Roger's feet as punishment for exposing his bare butt to the public. Perry recorded it on a video recorder in his hat. He would upload it later.

Before long, he landed right next to Phineas and Ferb after they had met their opposite gender counterparts. "Oh, there you are Perry." Phineas said. "Maybe we could introduce him to Sherry next time we visit Phione and Feobe." Perry just did his usual chatter.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz had just been giving his hands a thorough scrub after rubbing his brother's bare feet for nearly 3 hours on end. And then his opposite gender counterpart knocked on the door...

End Credits:

''At the OWCA HQ, the still shrunken Major Monogram sat on the huge stool, wriggling his toes. Carl was there with the shrinking ray he'd got. Carl: I've finally sorted out all the bugs in this thing, sir. One blast will have you back to normal size in no time. Monogram: Good, I'm getting chilly! Carl zaps him, and Monogram grows back to normal size! Carl: Thank goodness! Suddenly, Monogram groans in pain, then sprouts a tail, spikes on his shoulder blades, grows bigger, and his skin turns orange and his hair turns green! Carl: Oh my! He pins Monster Monogram to the ground, and tickles his two-toed feet, making him laugh. Carl: Still a few bugs in this thing!
 * corporate logos appear*


 * fade out*''