Candace Flynn on Mary Sues

Candace: People have asked me lately how I feel about something called "Mary Sues". Well let me tell you this honestly. I don't. Like. Them. At all. They're just bland and annoying and they don't need to exist. All they do is (beep) steal the spotlight. Everyone's all "Oh you're so cute/awesome/hot!" and it's stupid as (beep).

No offense to those who make Mary Sues...No, you know what? TONS of offense. Mary Sues are stupid and useless. Everybody likes them, which I find unrealistic! It's (beep) stupid. Just (beep) stupid. And hey, HERE's a thought! Put some (beep) DEPTH into your character! Don't make them so ultra-(beep)-perfect!

Oh you think I'mdone? I'm not. I haven't even BEGUN to cover the stupidity that is "Mary Sues and their existence". Not only are they perfect, but no one is allowed to (beep) hate them! Think I'm lying? Try it. Go up to the creator of a random Mary Sue and say you hate the Mary Sue character. See how long it takes fior the creator to act all butt-hurt about it.

Did you do it?

How long did it take? Seconds, right? That's my point.

And the (beep)hole creators act like their character is the BEST.

Uh, no. Your character is a (beep)-(beep) edit of an already existing character in the show's universe.

If I had a nickel for EVERY (BEEP) TIME I saw a (beep) Mary Sue and its (beep) creator....

Director: Okay Candace, we're gonna need you to stop with the swearing here. There are kids watching ya know.

Candace: Meh.

(moments later)

Candace: ...And THAT'S what I think of (beep) Mary Sues.