Dear Diary (Dirty Matt's Journal)

Dirty Matt's Journal,

Today, Phineas and Ferb have built another one of their amazing projects: They started a huge trend of lemonade stands. Everyone in Danville seemed to love their lemonade. They must have made a fortune, and probably didn't even care! Those UNGRATEFUL BRATS! They don't know the value of money; how it is what makes the world go around! They are so happy with their clean, innocent lives that they think they don't need the extra money. That's the problem with children these days: They al have such happy, pristine, self-sustaining, care-free lives, with no problems or cares at all about the world around them. Man, how it angers me to see people (mainly children) so happy!

Meanwhile, when I was young, my family had to fight for pennies, bread, water, and clothes, sometimes even kill for them! We had faced all the filth and evils of the world; the flirts; the bullies; the people who think gold is worth the life of another human; those who would abandon their neighbor to save themselves in a heartbeat; people interested only in satisfying their own selves, not giving crud about anyone with less than them, and not caring who they hurt to get what they want, or even need. As for me, I'm all of those things. The grime of human nature has covered me, made my hands unclean. My life and the world have shaped me into that.

And why do I have to suffer throughout my life while there are people living in wealth, prosperity, and happiness? Why did I have to have such a bad childhood while children today live so happily? They need to grow up and see the filthy world for what it really is. They need to be like my son, Jason. Bless that boy! He knows the cruelty of man and of life. I just wish he didn't have to stoop to a life of crime, and be just as bad off as I am. I wish I could help him, and be a better father to him, but I can't even help myself.

Any way, Chet is getting restless and thirsty. He really wants something to cut. May not be long before he turns on me. At least I have Connor. He's always talking to me about things, playing Basketball with me, always on my team, sitting with me at lunch, even getting his brother to bring in Taco Bongo during his visits for us. That guy is probably the best dang friend I've ever had! What luck I'm sharing a cell with him instead of a hardened criminal who would rip me apart in a day.

Hopefully, soon things will start getting better. Soon I will have my revenge on Phineas and Ferb for getting me arrested. Soon I will show all the children and Danville the true dirt-covered face of the world. Soon, hopefully I will be able to help Jason somehow, and feed myself and Chet.

-Matt Dirkov