A British Werewolf in Danville

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Note: If the words are in italics, it's a telepathic message. More info on Jessie's page.

Chapter 1
It was a blustery, chilly fall day in the suburbs of the city of Danville. A bright yellow school bus pulled to a halt at a bus stop and opened its doors. A small throng of excited kids exited, ready to return home to prepare their costumes. For you see, tonight was no ordinary night. It was Halloween, the one night of the year when you can be anything, even the exact opposite of what you are, and nobody looks at you any different. Strangely, though, the last three to leave the bus were probably the most excited of all. The holdup was due to the fact that one of them, a girl with extremely long green hair, had been trying to write a message on the window with her tongue. “Jessie, I’ve told you I dunno how many times before” said her redheaded companion, Phineas Flynn “Maybe on another planet it’s considered courteous to leave behind spit-notes when you exit a building or vehicle, but around here it’s just considered weird”.

“Sorry” she said, blushing a little. Phineas didn’t seem annoyed though, just a little amused.

“C’mon guys!” he called jumping out of the door onto the street “Daylight’s burning!” His step-siblings, the aforementioned Jessica Fletcher and her twin brother, Ferb, followed him eagerly. Each of them had a brilliant idea for a costume, and a lot of work would be necessary. Jessie, as she prefers to be called, looked over at her brothers

“Remind me, what am I supposed to say again?” She’d been over the Trick-or-Treating process several times before, but it was her first Halloween, so some slack had to be cut.

“Just ‘Trick-or-treat!’” Phineas said “Or, if you want to get creative, ‘Dulces o travesura!’”.

Jessie glanced at Ferb, sending him a telepathic message. “Why would people want a trick, anyway?” she asked.

”Don’t ask me, little sister,” he responded “I didn’t invent the holiday”.

Jessie shot him a glare. ”I’m not little!" she insisted.

A teasing grin crossed Ferb’s face. “Yes you are, I was born first!”.

Jessie rolled her eyes “We're twins!”

“I’m still older!”

“By three minutes!!” 

By now, Phineas had guessed that they were arguing, probably due to the fact that Ferb was now giggling over apparently nothing. “Uh, guys?” he said, snapping them back to the audible world. Just then, they were joined by three other people, Buford, Baljeet and Isabella.

“Hey, Dinner Bell!” said Buford “Hey Beanpole! Hey...J-Jessica” His voice faltered a little when he said her name.

“Hey guys” Jessie said “You got ideas for tonight?”

“Do we ever!” said Isabella brightly. “I’m gonna be a Native American, what’re you dressing up as?”

Jessie didn’t need to think twice. “Rapunzel.”

Everyone stopped in their tracks and stared at her. Jessie usually couldn’t be caught dead wearing a skirt, let alone a princess dress. She seemed to know what they were thinking. “It’s a special night!” she said with a shrug. In an attempt to break the awkward silence, Baljeet’s shrill voice chimed in

“So, Phineas? Ferb? What are your plans for this fine evening?”

Phineas exchanged a meaningful grin with his brother. “Wait and see!”

Chapter 2
“Okay, people! We have roughly two and a half hours before we reach ideal trick-or-treating hour. That may seem like too short a time to break half the laws of bio-physics, but “Impossible” was never on my vocabulary list. Ferb, you get the mini-lab built. Buford, you and Baljeet see if you can get your hands on some lab supplies. Isabella, you’re going to have to get a DNA sample from Pinky, preferably saliva. Jessie, you and I are getting everything else. Everyone be back here wearing your costumes by sundown. Now, are there any questions?"

Phineas was in his backyard with all his friends, handing them lists of exactly what they were looking for.

“Um, yes.” said Baljeet timidly “Why do I need to go with Buford?”

Buford gave him a death glare.

“Because Buford needs you for his costume.” Phineas replied

“Oh, goody, I cannot wait.” Baljeet sighed

“I have a question” said Jessie “How many digits of Pi can you count?”

Everyone except Phineas and Ferb stared at her.

“Twenty-seven” Phineas said “Any other questions?”

Jessie raised her hand.

“Any questions that are actually relevant to the assignments?”

Jessie’s hand went down.

“Then let’s get going, everyone!” he said happily “Times a-waistin’!”

Ferb pulled out a piece of blueprint paper and a pencil, Buford and Baljeet left for the Beaker Emporium, Isabella trotted off to her house and Phineas was about to leave with Jessie when he was greeted by a familiar voice

“Just what do you think you’re doing?!”

Candace had appeared in the sliding glass door on the side of the house, looking suspiciously at her siblings.

“We’re getting our Halloween costumes ready.” Phineas replied.

Candace glared at them for a second more, then, deciding they weren’t up to anything worthy of her interest, turned to go back inside.

“Remember, Candace!” Jessie called after her “You’ve gotta come with us! Mom said so!”

“Don’t remind me!” Candace snapped as she closed the door. She’s lost interest in Trick-or-Treating a long time ago.

“C’mon, Jess.” Phineas said “Let’s get those genes!”

“Remind me, what are we doing in the museum again?”

Jessica had only been to the museum once before, but it seems a lot different when you break into it past closing time.

“Simple” Phineas said “This is the only place within a hundred miles where we can easily get our hands on the DNA we’re looking without the risk of getting a bite.”

They were strolling through the massive halls filled with fossils of all shapes and sizes. It was very difficult to keep Jessie focused, since she simply adored animals. Finally, Phineas found what he was looking for. Among the fossils of woolly mammoths, smilodons and giant ground sloths, were a pack of lesser-known Ice Age beasts: the Dire Wolf. The half-a-dozen skeletons were held up by stands so that they appeared to be attacking a skeleton of a bush antlered deer. The wolves were as big as Dobermans, and would work perfectly for Ferb’s costume.

“Do we need to take the whole thing?” Jessie asked “Wouldn’t that be stealing?”

“Nah, all we need is a scan of it.” Phineas replied. He pulled out a small gizmo from his pocket and latched it onto the leg of the largest, most vicious looking canine in the group. The word Scanning... appeared in green. “Hey, Phin?” Jessie said

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Sure I’m sure! It’s only a temporary metamorphosis. I mean, it’s not like he’s gonna, I dunno, be stuck with a tail for the rest of his life!” Secretly, though, he was a little nervous himself. What if Ferb did get stuck with a tail the rest of his life? Sure, that would be awesome, but the poor guy had only just gotten used to the fact that he’s half alien and he has a twin sister. One can only have so much weirdness in their life at one time. Beep, beep, beep. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the scanner gadget, which was now finished taking the DNA code of the wolf. They had everything they needed.

Chapter 3
When Phineas returned home with his sister, Ferb had just added the finishing touches to the mini-lab. On the outside, it appeared to be only large enough for two people to squeeze into, but Ferb was very skilled at maximizing space. Behind the door was a two-roomed chemistry laboratory.

“Nicely done, Bro.” Phineas said, admiring the room “As soon as Buford and Baljeet get back with the supplies, we can get started on the Halloween getup of the century!.”

Phineas grabbed his costume, a perfect replica of a Nacho Chip bag big enough to wear, and smeared a handful of bright orange paint on his face. He was dressed as a Dorito. A perfect resemblance. As soon as Jessie left to put on her costume, a voice piped up behind him.

“Hey, Phineas, I got the DNA sample!”

“Thanks Isab....Wow, you look great!” He’d just turned around and seen her costume. She had changed out of her usual pink pinafore into a simple, tasseled, light brown dress made of cotton and a pair of leather moccasins. She was wearing a headband with brightly colored feathers and a necklace made of turquoise. A single lock of her raven-black hair was braided by her face, and a quiver was slung over her back, the tips of arrows poking out the top. In one hand she held a wooden bow, in the other the held a bag for her candy.

“Thanks!” she said, smiling. She pulled a small jar with a few inches of clear liquid out of her bag. “Getting the drool wasn’t that hard, really, Pinky just had dinner.”

Just as Phineas was unscrewing the jar, Buford stepped in. He was dressed as a football player in a red uniform, carrying a very large football.

“Got the supplies.” He said, dropping a bag full of various laboratory doodads on the counter.

“Thanks Buford” Phineas said “Cool costume, by the way. Where’s Baljeet?”

“I am right here!” said a miserable, muffled voice from inside the football. A pair of huge, brown eyes peeked out of holes in the front of the ball, two arms dangling helplessly out of the sides.

“This will make it very difficult for me to get candy!” Baljeet complained.

“To bad.” Buford said.

Just then, Ferb stepped in. He was wearing an extra-large set of clothing, and his eyes were full of anticipation.

“You ready, Ferb?” Phineas asked

Ferb nodded.

“Then let’s do this!”

Chapter 4
Ten minutes later, the chemical was finished. Phineas help up one of Ferb’s inventions, the painless, needleless syringe.

“You sure you want to do this, Ferb?” He asked.

Ferb nodded.

“Okay” He handed his brother the injection, and he went into the other room.

“What did I miss?” said Jessie’s voice from behind them.

“Whoa....you look pretty!” Buford said without answering her question.

There was no point in denying that. She was wearing a silky lavender dress and had somehow managed to straighten out her hair, making it even longer than usual, and tie it down her back. To top it all, several dozen flowers were woven into her braid, making it almost look as if she was wearing a garden on her head.

“Lookin’ good, Sis.” Phineas said, looking her up and down “You didn’t miss much. Ferb just went and...”

His attention was captured by the sound of claws scratching on linoleum coming from the other room. Phineas opened the door, and everybody filed in.

“Behold, the WereFerb!” he said.

What they met in there made even Buford look a little stunned. It wasn’t exactly a dog and it wasn’t exactly a wolf. It was a canine only possible from genetic engineering. But you could still tell it was Ferb. His thick, shaggy fur was leaf-green, the same color as Ferb’s hair. His muzzle was large and cubical, like Ferb’s nose. His eyes were still deep blue and human. The metamorphosis had gone precisely as planned. Ferb’s costume was complete.

“You feeling okay, Ferb?” Phineas asked.

In response, Ferb barked happily and wagged his tail. He grabbed a Halloween bag in his teeth and trotted out the door, ready for Tricks or Treats.

To be continued...