Jeremy's Club Song/Candace's Death

This is an episode of Carl's Pop Song Reviews. Carl reviews the songs "Tonight, Tonight" by Jeremy and the Incidentials and "If I Die Young" by the Band Flynn-Fletcher. He thinks "Tonight, Tonight" is a song for middle schoolers and thinks "If I Die Young" is about a spoiled teenage girl fantasizing about her funeral.

Memorable Quotes in "Jeremy's Club Song"
Carl: Yeah, new place everyone. Major Monogram asked me to move out. I guess he watched my videos and got tired of me using his stuff.....and his jokes....

Carl: I know what I'm going to do today! I'm going to review an overrated, overplayed, oversaturated hit song that I know everyone is dying for me to give the "Carl the Intern" treatment. (reads a piece of paper, and crumples it up) ....Apparently, I have to review a pipsqueak of a song by a band that no one's heard of or cares about. Oh well.

Carl: Rock bands could be finally making a comeback. Here, we have some good ol' boys from Danville out to conquer the world with their unique blend of garage rock influence and southern rock awesomeness!

Baljeet: (sings "Give Me a Grade")

Carl: No, that's the Baljeatles. The band I'm supposed to be talking about is called "Jeremy and the Incidentials", and they are from Danville, but from what I can gather, garage rock is probably not one of their influences.

Jeremy: La, la, la, whatever, la, la, la....

Carl: ....Yeah, we'll get to that....

Carl: There's something seriously, seriously wrong with "Tonight, Tonight". Something far more irritating, and before we start, in addition to "party" and "rocking" Irving and Albert and Jeremy and the Incidentials have one more thing in common: NEPOTISM!

Carl: Yes, these idiots have family connections, which explains why these talentless wads got a recording deal, but Irving and Albert can say that they were responsible for having family members that made good music. Jeremy and the Incidentials' connections are much suckier, and pay attention, folks, this will be the first and last time anyone will care about Jeremy and the Incidentials again.

Carl: So, what kind of music does the spoiled-(bleep) kids of the world's most boring musicians make? Well, let's take a listen!

(screen shows Jeremy dressed as a nerd)

Jeremy: (singing) It's been a really, really messed up week, seven days of torture, seven days of better. And my girlfriend went and cheated on me, (shows Candace making out with Cain) she's a California dime, but it's time for me to quit her. (Coltrane, who is also dressed as a nerd, walks over to Jeremy and tries to comfort him about losing Candace) La, la, la, whatever (Stacy walks by and accidentally spills coffee on Coltrane's shirt. Coltrane looks upset for a second, then shrugs) La, la, la, it doesn't matter...

Carl: Well, he's sure taking that well. Weirdly well. Kinda confusingly well. Was "la, la, la, whatever" a really appropriate response to that? Is anyone else besides me thinks he's weird for being that chill about it? What's with this guy? (shows Carl opening the door to his house) Gosh, what a beautiful day! (picks up a newspaper off the ground and reads it) Let's see what's in the news! Heinz Doofenshmirtz is rising to power!? My Little Pony is taking over the universe!? Oh well! (singing) La, la, la....

Carl: At this point, I already hate this song. There are some singers who can make nonsense syllables like "la, la, la" and view them with depth, meaning....

Baljeet, Irving, and Django: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, I love you...

Carl: And there are some artists that make already meaningless syllables and make them sound so dopey that they actually have no meaning. They suck the meaning out of the words around them.

Carl: There's something about the tone of this song that just (bleeps) me off. Okay, I usually don't quote other critics, but I usually read other people to find the general feel of what's out there, and doing so, I came across one blog writer who said that that "Tonight, Tonight" sounded, quote, "the guy from the Arby's ads teamed up with the freecreditreport.com band and released a three minute song". Well, review over, I'm not going to beat that.

Carl: I truly hate it when I can't tell the difference between a song and a commercial.

TBC

Memorable Quotes in "Candace's Death"
TBA

Trivia

 * The creator thinks "Tonight, Tonight" and "If I Die Young" are "meh" songs
 * The Band Flynn-Fletcher is a parody of The Band Perry
 * If Candace is 28 in "Candace's Death", then Phineas and Ferb are about 23 years old.