I've Got a Little List

Lyrics
Brendan: As someday it may happen that a victim must be found,

I've got a little list, I've got a little list

Of society offenders who might well be underground

And who never would be missed, who never would be missed.

There's the white kid with the baggy clothes who's talking like he's black,

The girl you date who doesn't get the jokes in Caddyshack,

The Asian guy who cuts in front of every single line,

And Britney Spears for accidentally showing her vagine,

And Bill O'Reilly's ineffective dermatologist.

They'd none of them be missed, they'd none of them be missed.

Secret Service Men: He's got them on the list,

He's got them on the list,

And they'd none of them be missed,

They'd none of them be missed.

Brendan: There's the guy behind the news reporter waving like a fool,

And Senator Bill Frist, I've got him on the list.

And the fat kid smiling warmly while he's peeing in the pool.

He never would be missed, he never would be missed!

There's the foul-smelling boy who comes to school in camouflage,

And every bleeding member of the cast of Entourage,

And while we're on the subject, Disney's full of shame,

For ending The Great Indoors with a f*cking cut to Spanish football game!

And guys who when you shake their hand just bump you with their fist.

I don't think they'd be missed. I'm sure they'd not be missed.

Secret Service Men: He's got them on the list,

He's got them on the list,

And they'd none of them be missed,

They'd none of them be missed.

Brendan: There's the guy who sits beside you and keeps farting on the plane And Shakira's lyricist. I've got him on the list.

And the smarty on Thanksgiving who says, "It's the trip-toe-fane!" (tryptophan)

He never would be missed, he never would be missed.

There's the blonde who tells you loudly with a voice just like a knife,

(falsetto) "You know, someone should do a sitcom based around my life!"

(normal voice) The guy who watched The Simpsons back in 1994

And won't admit the damn thing isn't funny anymore.

Brendan: and Secret Service Men: And anyone

And everyone...

Who's ever...

Made me pissed!

Secret Service Men: Made me pissed!

Made me really really pissed!

Brendan: I've got them on the list.

They'd none of them be missed

Secret Service Men: They'd be none, they'd be...

They'd be none, they'd be none of them be missed.

Secret Service Men: He's got them on the list,

He's got them on the list,

And they'd none of them be missed...

Brendan: They'd none

Secret Service Men: None of them...

Of...

None of them...

Them...

None of them

Brendan & Secret Service Men: Be...

Missed!

Basso Profundo Secret Service Man: None of them be missed!