User blog:Ferblover/"Operation: Dorito"

Operation: Dorito

By Ferb(lover)

Author's note: This story was inspired by one of my favorite Bugs Bunny/Wile E. Coyote cartoon called; "Operation: Rabbit". The plot is similar to the original cartoon but has that PnF humor added to it that we all love! Enjoy!


 * Bugs, Wile E., and "Operation: Rabbit" belong to Warner Bros.

-Ferb

One day, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was waiting for Agent P’s daily visit. He waits a little while and wonders where Perry is. Then he remembers that the last time Perry fought him and destroyed his -Inator he planted a permenent homing device on the platypus’s fedora. Heinz puhes the button and an electronic voice says, “Locating: Perry the Platypus. Location found. Touch screen to continue.” Heinz touches the screen. “I’ve got you now, Perry the Platypus…” he says in his thick German accent. He writes down the adress and goes to Phineas and Ferb’s house. In the backyard, Phineas and Ferb are creating a fancy machine. “Hey, Ferb,” Phineas says looking urgent, “I gotta use the bathroom.”

“Don’t tell me,” Ferb says looking disgusted, “take care of business then come back. I can’t do all of this work with out you.”

“Thanks.” Phin says as he runs into the house at top speed. At the front door, Heinz walks into the unlocked Flynn-Fletcher home. A few seconds later, he comes back up with a sack with something inside as sings merrily back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. with something in his bag, he did not know that someone was ripping a little triangle-head-sized hole in the bag, and from it popped out a confused Phineas Flynn.

“Um, excuse me” Phineas Flynn began. “What’s inside of your bag, mister?”

Heinz turned to see Phineas.

“What the-” Heinz stuttered. “I’m terribly sorry kid, I thought you were a platypus.”

“I'm sorry, but Perry isn't here today. You haven’t seen him by any chance, have you?” Phineas asked. “Everyday he disapears and comes back at the end of the day.”

“Really?” Heinz asked.

“Yes, Mr… uh….” Phineas Flynn said, trying to know his nam

“Oh, excuse me” Heinz said showing Phineas his card. “Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz; genius mastermind.”

“A genius mastermind, are you? That’s so cool!” Phineas said with his usual spark of enthusiasum.

“Why, yes.” Heinz explained as Phineas slyly escaped the bag as he explained. “I have an IQ of 205. For instance, you just asked me what was inside of that bag. Then I were to say ‘a platypus.’ But since you are inside, I have to say a teenage boy. Then you might say, ‘Well, what you going to do with him?’ Then as I continue to explain, you were to get clever and so on and so on. But in conclusion, my boy, we both now know that there is nothing in the bag now.”

Phineas looked inside of the bag.

“Um...” Phineas said, showing Heinz the bag. “I don’t like to disagree with you, Heinz, but I think there is something inside of the bag. And I think it's for you.”

“There is?” Heinz said, taking the bag. “Well…”

Heinz looked inside, but the bag blew his face up! Yep, there was something inside that bag. Phineas merrily walked to the elevator as he sang a song.

“''Bow chicka bow wow! That’s what my baby says!''” Phineas sang. “Mow Mow Mow and my heart starts pumpin’…”

Phineas closed the door as the elevator took him down to the lobby. Heinz gave chase after Phineas when the elevator came back up. But as he entered the elevator, he did not know that there are 3 sticks of lighted dynamite inside The elevator blew up with him insid The elevator fell apart, and Heinz was all charred up.

“Poor kid.” Heinz slurred. “He was smart… innocent… and pointy. But he had his chance So now he must face the consequences.”

Heinz ran back upstairs, thinking how to catch Phineas. Heinz has built an Answerinator to get clues on how to get back at this kid.

“Finihed.” Heinz said. “Heinz, you are such a genius! Now to see what our little pointy kid is doing.”

Heinz looked thought his binoculars to see what Phineas was doing. Phineas had locked the door to his house with a little help from Ferb. Heinz began typing on his Answerinator.

“Dorito… house… homemade lock… lock-picking help…” Heinz typed.

Heinz pressed the enter button as the inator began to whirr, click, and buzz.

Then it had a solution, on the screen it says, “Use a small paperclip to pick the lock”

Later that evening, Heinz snuck towards the Flynn-Fletcher home then starts picking the lock. Down below, Phineas was in his bed, checking his comments on his Fanon blog. Until he starts hearing some clicks. he opens a case that said “IN CASE OF DOOFENSHMIRTZ” and throws a banana peel at the bottom of the steps. When Heinz climbed down to the bottom of the ladder, he stepped on the banana peel, slid across the hall and into a contraption labeled “The Evil Genius Be-Gone 9001”. Heinz gets tortured inside the machine before being launched into the air shouting, “CUUUUURSEEEEE YOOOOOU PPPPPHHHHIIINNNNEAAASSS FFFFFLLLYYYYNNN!” WHAM!

The next morning, Phineas was preparing a special breakfast for Perry. He was singing Gitchee Gitchee Goo as he was filling Perry’s water dish with apple juice (Platypuses really like apples). He placed the bowl of apple juice on the ground as he went back into the kitchen and placed 2 platypus treats in the microwave. Meanwhile… Heinz was watching Phineas through the platypus-scopeinator He went to his Answerinator and began to type

“Phineas… making… Breakfast… microwave… treats…” Heinz typed. “How should I destroy him?”

Then he pressed enter and the inator came up with an answer. It read, “Switch treats for hand grenades.” Heinz took 2 hand grenades with him along with a string with 2 hooks. He ran towards Phin’s house and lowered the 2 hooks in though the window and into the microwave when it was opened. Then he pulled the string causing the platypus treats to come out. He pulled the pins on the grenades and dropped them inside of the toaster. Meanwhile, Phineas was about to get the treats for Perry from the microwave when the teen noticed he was holding explosives. Phineas launched the grenades way up in the air and through the window Heinz was chuckling to know that his plan would work. But then he saw one of the grenades spinning in the air. He tried to get away, but the first grenade blew him up. After getting charcoaled by the first grenade, he saw the second one along with his life being flahed before his eyes.

“Oh… no…” Heinz said as the second grenade blew up in his face

Back in the hole…

“Hey, Ferb,” Phineas said nervously. “Did Calamity leave some explosives the last time he was over?”

Later, Heinz was typing on his Answerinator again thinking of another way to destroy Phineas. The Inator had a solution that said: ''Phineas has a huge crush on Isabella. So why not get a robot that looks EXACTLY like Isabella and put in a time bomb. Set to timer for 5 minutes and when Phineas sees the robot, he’ll think it's Isabella and fall for it. Then you'll have him then. Good luck.'' And that’s what Heinz did. He built an Isabella robot. He set the timer for 5 minutes and activated him. But as the robot Isabella walked, he heard a knock on his door. He went to front door, opened it and he saw… a beautiful lady Heinz’s age who was looking very, very, attractive. But if there’s one thing about him that way weird, he had 2 cords going out from behind. But Heinz didn’t notice as he grabbed him and held him in a romantic pose.

“Oh my, darling little strudel…” Heinz began, “How beautiful you are… how devastating… and how lucky. Little did you dream that one day, you would marry a genius.”

The cords that were from the lady’s behind led from him to the outside of D.E.I, over a few hills, and to a plunger next to Phineas.

“No one ever messes with my Izzy.” Phineas said as he pressed the plunger stick down forcefully.

There was an explosion heard from Heinz ’s appartment The lady was a bomb, and Heinz was all blown up.

“Here comes the bride…” Heinz sang sluring his accent “All dressed in…”

But suddenly, he heard beeping noises from the Isabella robot, IT WAS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!

“Oh… no.” Heinz said. “Not again! I get enough of this from Perry the Platypus already!”

Heinz grabbed the robot, ran towards the window and was about to throw it out, but the robot blew him up before he had that chance to. Later on, Phineas was doing his chores. He was vacuuming his room. Outside, Heinz ran up to the teen’s window with a stick of dynamite and a piece of paper. It turned out to be another solution from his Answerinator, it said "Slip a stick of dynamite into vacuum’s hose". So he lit the fuse and dropped the dynamite into the vacuum’s hos Then he ran for a place to hid Phineas walked outside with a bag full of vacuum gunk. He strutted merrily to a trashcan, took off the lid and poured the dust into the bin. Then he skipped back to his house. He did not notice that he was dumped a stick of lighted dynamite into the bin. You guys know Doof. He hides in random places trying to scare Perry or Larry.

“Here we go again…” Heinz said as he was blown up AGAIN!

The explosion caused the lid to fly off and disapear. Heinz emerged from the bin all charcoaled, but then he was whacked on the head by the trashcan lid. “OWCH! THAT SMARTS!” he howled. Later on, it almost time for Perry to come home and for Phin to say, “Oh, there you are Perry!” so Heinz tried one last time. His Answerinator had one more solution.

“Okay, well…” It read, “How about a booby trap in the backyard? Place a tiny lasso around on one of the hammers that will trigger a giant boulder that would fall. And when he picks up the last hammer, you’ll have him then.”

So Heinz built a booby trap-inator. He placed a tiny lasso around the last hammer in Phin’s toolbox. The lasso was leading from 3 pulleys to a giant boulder that would crush Phineas if he picked up the last hammer. Heinz ran behind the large oak tree and watched to see if his plan would work. He saw Phineas coming out of the house. He sang an upbeat song as he made him way to the backyard. He picked up the tools that were scattered around the yard to the last hammer that was booby-trapped. But when he picked up the last hammer, the booby trap didn’t go off. He walked away with the toolbox full of tools. Heinz zipped up to the booby trap to see what went wrong. But when he tried to touch the tiny lasso, the trap activated and the boulder was starting to fall on Heinz! Heinz ran back to his Answerinator!

“Rock… falling…” Heinz said worriedly. “What… should… I… do?!”

The Answerinator had one last statement: “Go back and rethink your life”

So Heinz ran back to the booby trap and allowed the boulder to crush him. What could have possibly been wrong with Heinz ’s inator?

“If there’s one thing I know about this ‘inator’,” Phineas said, appearing on Heinz ’s monitor, “It’s because it only has just one moving part.”

Ain’t he a sweetheart?

THE END!