Super Candy Sisters/Monster Field



This is an episode That Fanboy With The Scrapbook (Series). Irving a reviews a video game movie, and a movie he looked at the trailer of.

Memorable Quotes from Super Candy Sisters The Movie
Irving: Hello, I'm that fanboy with the scrapbook. You know, Hollywood has a talent for taking symbols of our cherished childhood and smashing them into indescribable amounts of fecal matter, and nowhere is that more prominent than in the horrors of the Super Candy sisters Movie.

Irving: The game, about two cute Non-Italian plumbers who rescue a prince from a dragon, was such a hit that they put it on everything. Candy, no pun intended, magazines, comic books, the works. So it only figured to put together a Super Sisters Bros. movie as quickly as possible.

Irving: And when we saw the trailer for this movie, we realized it wasn't just Super Candy Sisters, it was  Super Candy Sisters... ON STEROIDS! I'm serious dude, this movie was packin', with flamethrowers, rocket boots, giant monsters and a badass lookin' city. So naturally, we got hyped.

Irving: t was opening day, there were lines around the block, and we were ready to see the badass action film of the year. We sat down in our seats, and the film began.


 * Crappily animated opening scene plays*

Irving: Oh my God this movie's gonna blow. Okay, so let's see what's wrong with this horse's ass of a movie. Well for starters, the graphics in the game are actually better than the graphics in the opening, that's Strike 1. Doof is a human being instead of a dragon, that's Strike 2, and two Italian plumbers are played by a American girl and an Aisan. that's Strike 3.

Irving: You know what the hell, five minutes into this movie, already it has 3 strikes against it. This is going to SUCK!

Irving: Alright, so the story centers around a love story between Stacy and some dorky guy named Albert. Their chemistry is about as awkward as Jeremy and...well, pretty much anyone he's dated before Candace.

Irving: So after some crap,, Albert is abducted and taken to a parallel world where humans evolved from lizards instead of evolving from monkeys. Suck on that, Creationism!

Irving: nd in the horrifying city of...Namenotannounced, there's an evil Tyrannosaurus Rex named Doof/ Only he doesn't breathe fire and throw hammers like in the video game, no, this doof's more like a mix between Donald Trump and Dr. Evil.

Irving: So the plan is to merge the two dimensions together and de-evolve mankind. He does this by using a rock from a meteorite that hit Earth thousands of years ago that Albert apparently keeps around his neck. Or some crap like that, I don't know, I'm usually asleep at this point.

Irving: So ya, the girls are taken to some police station

Policeman: Alright, last name.

NC: Whoa whoa, we're gonna hear Candy's last name? Dude we've NEVER heard Candy's last name before. This oughta be interesting. Cool, alright, so...what's Candy's last name?

Candace: Candy

Irving: Yea, now what's your last name?

Candace: Candy

Irving: No, now what's your LAST name?

Candace: Candy

Irving: No no...okay, what's your first name?

Candace: Candace!

Irving: Okay, now what's your last name?

Candace: Candy

Irving: Screw you. What's your first name?

Stacy: Stacy

Irving: And what's your last name?

Candace: Candy

Irving: SHUT UP! What's your last name?

Stacy: Stacy Candy

Irving: Those are both first names, what's your last name?

Candace: Candy

Irving: SHUT IT! What's your full name?

Stacy: Stacy Candy

Irving: THOSE ARE BOTH FIR- ...okay. What's your first name?

Stacy: Stacy!

Irving: And what's your last name?

Candace: Candy

Irving: SHUT UP! What's your full name?

Stacy: Stacy Candy

Irving: What is this, an Abbot and Costello routine?

Stacy: Candace Candy, and Stacy Candy

Irving: Are kidding me? They couldn't think of last names, so they just gave them their first names again? That's like something a kid writes down when he doesn't know the answer on a test! "Candace's last name is, durr...Candy! And Stacy's last name is...Candy too, because they're sisters you see, wait no no no, mother and daughter!

Irving: Anyway, this movie also has some bad jokes, inculding a running joke i won't show. Not funny + not funny = NOT FREAKING FUNNY! I mean, do these people have to go back to Film 101? If you want a joke to work, you need HUMOR! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT?! Jesus, I can't imagine this film getting any worse.

Albert: I know this is gonna sound a little strange, but I want you to meet...my father.


 * A large collection of fungus extends to meet Candace and Stacy; Irving slams his head on the table*

Irving: Okay, I'm gonna wrap this up before I puke. The girls. get the rock back, stop the evil doof, turn him into a Muppet and return back home. Albert can't go because he has to figure out where he  "belongs" and they have a happy ending.

Irving: OR DO THEY?!


 * Albert enters the Sister's' apartment, decked out like a soldier*

Albert: Candace, stacy!

Stacy: What's wrong?

Albert: You're never gonna believe this.

Candace: I believe

Stacy: You do?

Irving: And, I am not kidding, this is where IT ENDS. On a cliffhanger. What's wrong, how does Candace know what's wrong? Why does Albert have a flamethrower?

Irving: Well thank heavenly Jesus we'll never find out the answer to those questions. This Bob-ombed at the box office and thus never had a crappy Hollywood sequel.

Irving: Perhaps the biggest shock of the movie is the fact that somebody actually wrote it. Not one, but 3 people actually played a part in putting this all together. And would you believe that this movie actually had TWO directors? Because one director can't POSSIBLY make a movie this bad alone. It takes two...with concerted effort.

Irving: I'm that fanboy with the scrapbook, see ya.

Memorable Quotes in Monster field
Irving: And perhaps you remember the review of the Monster field trailer I did last summer.

Irving: Hahahahaha. Hilarious. Well, January 18th has finally hit, and I feel it necessary to talk about the film that I--ironically--helped promote. So, what is it that's terrifying all of New York in the middle of the night? I'll tell you what it is...a monster. Just...a monster. Not Buford or Ducky Momo It's just a monster. It's not even a famous monster, like Goshzilla or Rodan or anything, it's just a monster. No twists, no backstory, no surprises, just a monster. ...BULLCRAP! ALL THAT BUILD UP, ALL THIS TIME, ALL OF THAT JUST FOR A MONSTER? IF I WANNA SEE MONSTERS I GO TO THE DMV TO GET MY LICENSE RENEWED!

Irving: Oh hell, you don't care about what it is, all you wanna know is: Is it a good movie? Well let me tell you something: THIS. FILM. WAS. OKAY. Just...okay. Not good, not bad, it's just...okay. How's the monster? It's okay. How's the acting? It's okay. How are the special effects? IT'S ALL OKAY! It's like a giant, flaming, nuclear ball of adequacy! So if you like shaky cameras and monsters going "WAAH!" chances are you're gonna like Monsterfeied.

Irving: t's pretty much JUST a monster movie, nothing else. If you like monster movies, you'll probably like Monsterfield. But wait a minute! What about the title?

Irving: In my last review, I said that Monsterfield was simply the codeword for the movie and not the actual title. But then they start advertising it as Monsterfield...so what the hell?!

Irving: Well according to them the "video" that documented all of this was codenamed Cloverfield so that "technically" the movie doesn't have a name. Just like I'm "technically" not going to fork over 8 more dollars to "technically" see this movie again. Screw you Mr. Ward! You and your...adequate filmmaking. I'm that fanboy with the scrapbook, I remember it because it's...adequate.

Trivia
The creator hates the mario movie and has never seen clover field