User blog comment:PlantyThePottedPlant/Random Topic Blogging III: Blog Harder/@comment-1659929-20140205012013/@comment-3395649-20140206015908

Fine, I'm calling in my favors from the SCP Foundation:

''Hello JS, due to a certain incident revolving around the user in question as well as his father and a few friends, we have been forced to assist them in various endevours, such as reviewing MIR (Something so terrible even God ran away from it), or destroying his enemies if needed. You fit the criteria.''

''You may not have noticed, but we temperorarily hypnotized you and had you snap a photo of SCP -096, the creature that devours anything that looks at its face except if it happens to be a drawing, sculpture, or painting, basically any kind of artistic rendition discounting computers. It has just entered the devouring state and is on its way to eat you.''

If that fails ''to kill you, well, congrats. We're not putting a lot of effort into this.''