Irving Who? (Script)



The Adventures Of Irving And Friends

Episode 8: Irving Who?

/

We opened up in the backyard of Phineas and Ferb, as they have yet to figure out what to do today.

Phineas: Ferb, I think we're in a rut. I mean all we've really done this week is build an ant farm and a railroad. We need to think of something we haven't done! Let's look at the list.

Phineas pulled out a list of things they've done this summer.

Phineas: Let's see. We've built a rollercoaster, a shrinking submarine, a lemonade stand, a rocket, a backyard beach, and a time machine. How are we gonna top those?

Irving: Hello!

Phineas: Irving! You scared me!

Irving: Sorry.

Phineas: How did you even get in here?

Irving: Magic...

Phineas: Okay...So how are things?

Irving: Great.

Phineas: How's Albert?

Irving: Fine. He said he was gonna try to get a girlfriend today. Hah! We all know he's gonna strike out.

Phineas: Strike out? That gives me an idea!

Irving: Ohh! He's gonna say the words!

Phineas: Irving, remember what I said about not geeking out?

Irving: Sorry.

Phineas: Hey wanna help with today's project?

Irving: BOY, DO I!

Phineas: Whoa. Calm down.

Irving: Sorry again.

Phineas: It's okay. So come on!

Irving: Awesome! I can't believe this! When we first met, I was just some stupid fanboy. Now I'm an official part of the group!

Phineas: Hey, where's Candace?

/

Candace, Stacy, and Jenny (!) were all hanging out in Candace's room.

Candace: Okay, girls, today is the day!

Stacy: What day?

Candace: You know, the day me and Jeremy officially become boyfriend and girlfriend! I've planning this day since we met!

Stacy: Wait, so you've been planning to get together with him on THIS specific day?

Candace: Yep!

Stacy: Now that is being prepared.

Jenny: Great...

Candace: Is something wrong Jenny?

Jenny: Nothing. It's just that that I feel lonely being the only with a significant other.

Candace: What do you mean?

Jenny: I mean you have Jeremy, Stacy has Coltrane-

Stacy: Hey! We're not together. I don't know if I really want him. But he is kinda, cute though.

Jenny: My point is that you guys have had relationships, but I'm still lonely.

Candace: Well, you are kinda...

Jenny: Don't say it.

Candace: Okay. But that does give me an idea...Jenny, I know what you're gonna do today!

Jenny: Hey, where's Perry?

Once again, Perry was at his hideout, getting a mission briefing from Monogram

Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been hitting up sport goods stores for used baseballs. Now, that's just crazy. What kind of evil plan could involve Baseballs? Well, anyway, whatever he's up to, go out and stop it.

Perry once again saluted his boss and went off to stop Doof.

/

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

Agent once again crashed trough the roof of DEI.

Doofenshmirtz: Perry The Platypus, how unfortunate. And by unfortunate, I mean COMPLETELY FORTUNATE!

Perry waited for a trap, but nothing happened.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, yes, the trap. Well you see, after yesterday, I wasn't in the mood to make one, so just stay there and don't punch me like Pinky and that Irving kid.

Perry nods.

Doofenshmirtz: Okay then. Hey, Perry the Platypus, guess what time it is? That's right! It's...backstory time!

Doofenshmirtz: You see, Perry the Platypus, when I was a kid, I decided to try baseball. But when I tried to play an actual game with my friends, something happened. You see, the person up to bat was...well, you know how in every group of friends, there's this one guy that no one likes, but they keep him anyway? Well, that was him. He was famous for being a major klutz. I wasn't worried…at first. You see, I was the pitcher, and well he...beaned me in the head.

Doofenshmirtz: It wasn't that big of a deal at first, but the next I went up to bat...Beaned! I was beaned almost every time I played baseball. After that, I swore off baseball forever. But today, I shall get my revenge! Behold...

He then pointed to his latest invention...

Doofenshmirtz: The Bean-inator! With this, I shall bean everyone in the head with a baseball! But you can't start fighting me yet! No, I have to activate the machine first, Then you fight, then you turn it off, then you win. That's how it always goes. Now to activate the Bean-inator!

Doofenshmirtz then activated the Bean-inator, which shot several baseballs into the air.

Doofenshmirtz: Yes! Although maybe the impact of one of these balls to the head might cause amnesia. Oh, I guess it doesn't matter.

/

Candace, Stacy, and Jenny were leaving the house when they saw Phineas and Ferb working on their latest project.

Candace: Phineas! What are you doing?

Phineas: Oh, hey Candace. We were just building our own baseball field.

Candace: A baseball field, eh? Well, there's nothing wrong with that. I'll be going now.

Phineas: Okay. Bye!

Irving: Is it just me, or did Candace just pass off an attempt to bust you?

Phineas: What's that, Irving? I didn't hear you.

Irving: ...Nothing.

Just then, Isabella and the rest of the gang showed up.

Isabella: Hi, Guys! And Irving.

Irving: Hey.

Isabella: Whatcha doin'?

Phineas: We're making our own baseball field!

Buford: Awesome! I've been practicing my umpire skills.

Phineas: Great! As long as no one gets hit in the head with a baseball as it often happens, we'll be fine.

Irving: Hey, what's that?

Irving looked up to see a baseball from the Bean-inator flying at him.

Irving: Oh, it's just a baseball. Well, I guess I'd better get back to Phineas and F-

Irving then got cut off by the baseball hitting him the head, knocking him out.

Phineas: Irving! Are you okay?

Irving: Easy peasy, lemon squeezy…

Then he passed out.

Phineas: Irving! Don't worry! We'll help you, man.

Baljeet: I must admit, I did not see that coming.

/

Meanwhile, Albert was at Slushy Burger. He was drowning his sorrows in milkshakes. As it turns out, he hasn't had any luck yet.

Albert: (He sighs.) My life is a mess.

Jeremy: Hey, don't you think you've had enough milkshakes?

Albert (drunkenly): Don't tell me when I've had enough shakes! I'll tell you when I've had enough shakes!

Jeremy: O...kay?

Albert (normally): Sorry about that.

Jeremy: It's okay.

Albert: I guess I'll move to another table. I need to free up space for other people anyway.

Albert then got up and sat down at another table.

Albert: That's better.

Coltrane: Hey, dude, this tables taken.

Albert: Oh. Sorry. Wait, aren't you that Coltrane guy?

Coltrane: Yes. How do you know me?

Albert: My brother Irving told me about you.

Coltrane: I don't know an Irving. How does he know about me?

Albert: It's better if you don't know.

Then, at that moment, Stacy, Candace and Jenny walked in.

Candace: Okay, Jenny, this is a great place to meet guys!

Stacy: Did you bring us here just so you could talk to Jeremy?

Candace: Maybe...Go find a place to sit. I'll be right back.

Stacy: Fine.

They then sat down at a table. It just happened to be the same table Coltrane and Albert were sitting at.

Albert: Hey, Stacy and Jenny. Funny running into you guys.

Stacy: Oh, hey, Albert.

Coltrane: Hey, Stacy.

Stacy: Oh, hi, Coltrane! (She giggles.)

Jenny: Is this that Albert person Candace told me about?

Stacy: Yep.

Albert: And you're that Jenny girl Irving told me about.

Jenny: Irving? The kid that Candace hates?

Alert: He said you're a hippie.

Jenny: Well, I wouldn't use that term. I would say I'm "earth friendly".

Albert: Hey, I didn't say I agreed with him. You seem cool.

Jenny: Thanks.

Stacy: Hey, Jenny, let's go check up on Candace.

Jenny: Okay.

Jenny and Stacy went off to what Candace was doing, leaving Albert and Coltrane sitting there.

Coltrane: So...have you met Stacy before?

Albert: Yep. I actually had a crush on her.

Coltrane: Really?

Albert: Yeah. I somehow turned cool and impressed her and even got a kiss from her. But in the end, we decided to stay friends.

Coltrane: Wait, you got a kiss from Stacy? How is it that you got a kiss from her before I could?

Albert: Maybe because I'm more interesting and more of a ladies' man than you?

Coltrane: What is THAT supposed to mean?

Albert: I mean I'm more interesting! I act very mean to my little brother, but I will help him out if he benefits me. I'm a jerk with a heart of gold! You? You're boring. The only reason you exist is because Stacy needed a significant other. You're a nice guy, you can help her out in her time of need...and that's about it. You're flat and boring! You're a big bore. That is the reason you stink.

Coltrane: Wow. Well...you're a stinky head

Albert: Very mature, you are.

Coltrane: Don't get all sarcastic on me!

Albert: You can't tell me what to do!

Coltrane: Oh yes I can!

A crowd starts to gather around them.

Crowd: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Albert: A fight? Who's fighting?

Coltrane: It's us! We're fighting!

Albert: Well, don't mind if I do!

Stacy, Jenny and Candace noticed the crowd. They went over there to find out what was going on.

Candace: What is going on over here?

Albert: Me and Coltrane were about to fight!

Jenny: Fighting? Whoa, make love, not war.

Albert: Eww!

Candace: She doesn't mean that kind of love, you moron!

Stacy: But why are you guys fighting?

Coltrane: He said I was boring and that he's better!

Albert: Well when you say it like that, it sounds negative.

Stacy: Look, it doesn't matter who's more interesting. Just get along!

Albert: I guess you're right….

Candace: Good! Now if you excuse me, we are off to find Jenny a guy.

Stacy: Bye!

Jenny: Peace out.

Guy In Crowd: Aww, man! Come on guys! Let's get out of here!

The crowd then left out of boredom.

Albert: Well...that was awkward.

Coltrane: I suppose Stacy's right. We shouldn't fight...even though I'm much more interesting, especially to the ladies.

Albert: Oh yeah? Wanna bet?

Coltrane: Yes. Yes I do.

Albert: Okay, then. Let's make a bet. Whoever gets another girl to kiss them wins. If I win you must...massage my back, or something!

Coltrane: And If I win?

Albert: Then I'll...I'll be your slave for a month!

Coltrane: Deal!

Albert: Okay! So…what do we do now?

Coltrane: Well, I say we go off to find a girl.

Albert: But there's no girl here that could possibly like me.

Coltrane: Not my problem. See you later!

Albert: Yeah, bye. Looks like I know what I'm doing today.

/

Back in the backyard, Irving had finally come to.

Phineas: Irving! Thank goodness! Are you okay?

Irving: Who are you talking to?

Phineas: You, of course! Are you feeling fine, Irving?

Irving: Who's Irving?

Phineas: You mean you don't remember?

Irving: I guess. Where am I?

Phineas: Oh, great. Guys! It looks like Irving's lost his memory!

Ferb: How cliché.

Phineas: Huddle up, guys!

Buford: What is this? Football?

Phineas: Just huddle up!

The kids all huddled up to see what Phineas wanted.

Phineas: Okay, guys it seems as if Irving has lost his memory. What do we do?

Buford: I say we keep him like this.

Phineas: No! We are not keeping him like this!

Buford: Oh, come on! That nerd was annoying. I say we make him think that he's a normal boy and not a big nerd.

Phineas: Buford, we have to get his memory back no matter what.

Buford: Whatever floats your ship.

Phineas: Don't you mean boat?

Buford (grinning): No.

Phineas: O...kay...

Irving: Wait...I lost my memory?

Phineas: Yes, but don't worry. You'll have it back in no time!

/

Albert then decided to head back to his street to see if he could find a girl for himself. But just then, she spotted Candace, Stacy, and Jenny there as well. For some reason, he was looking at Jenny. He didn't know why. There was just something about her...

Jenny: I don't know, Candace. I don't think we'll ever find a good guy for me.

Candace: Oh come on! There are plenty of great guys in town! ….And Albert.

Jenny: Wait, why not Albert?

Candace: What about him?

Jenny: Well, based on what I've heard about him, he does sound sort of mean, but he doesn't seem THAT bad.

Stacy: What are you insisting, Jenny?

Jenny: I think...I think I like Albert.

Candace: You're lucky I'm not drinking something right now, or I would do a spit take.

Stacy; Oh come on, Candace. He's not that bad.

Candace: You're just saying that because you kissed him once.

Stacy: No way!

Albert couldn't help but overhear all of this, and decided to walk over to them.

Albert: Um...Hello, ladies.

Candace: Oh, hello...Albert.

Stacy: Hey, Albert.

Jenny: Hi.

Albert: Um, hi.

Candace: What do you want with us?

Albert: Actually I kind of wanted to talk to Jenny.

Jenny: Really? Well...ok

Candace: Be careful, Jenny. This could all be part of his evil plan...

Stacy: Wow, you're good at holding a petty grudge.

Candace: Yes. Yes I am.

/

Meanwhile, Phineas and the gang started working on recovering Irving's memory.

Phineas: Irving, let's start on getting your memory back.

Buford: Okay, let me start off. My name is Buford.

Irving: Hello, Buford.

Buford: And I'm the bully. Well sometimes. I'm kind of a nice guy as bullies go.

Baljeet: Try saying that to my underpants. I'm Baljeet, by the way.

Irving: A bully who is a nice guy and a Indian nerd...I remember now! You're the one who always snarks at me! And you're the guy that called me a nerd when he first met!

Buford: Wow. He catches on quick.

Phineas: That's almost unrealistically quick. So how else can we get his memory back...?

Buford: We can bonk him on the head like in the cartoons!

Phineas: Buford, this isn't a cartoon.

Buford: I know. It's a fanfic BASED on a cartoon. Duh!

(Phineas stares blankly at the ground, most likely in contemplation.)

Buford: Um. Never mind that.

Phineas: Okay, your turn, Isabella.

Buford: How come she hasn't done anything since she got here?

Phineas: I have no idea.

Isabella: Hello Irving. I'm Isabella.

Irving: Isabella...Nice name.

Isabella: Yes, we haven't actually talked that much except for the time you became my fanboy. That was yesterday.

Irving: Hmmmm. I, oh yes, I remember you! You're the one who's a fireside girl!

Isabella: That was also quick.

Phineas: Okay, I know what will really bring his memory back! It's my turn!

Buford: Good luck, dude.

Phineas: Hello Irving. I'm Phineas.

Irving: Phineas...nope, doesn't ring a bell.

Phineas: You know. The guy that makes amazing inventions? The one you're obsessed with?

Irving: Nope. Don't remember that.

Phineas: But what about Ferb?

Irving; His name is Ferb?

Phineas: Well yes, It's short for-

Irving: Nope, don't recall.

Buford: Ugh! How come whenever someone is about to say something important they get cut off? That gets annoying.

Phineas: Come one! Don't you remember us? You've been crazy over us for a while.

Irving: I'm sorry, Greg.

Phineas: It's Phineas.

Irving: Whatever. But I don't remember you or that green haired kid.

Phineas: Please! You have to remember me!

Irving: I don't.

Ferb: Blimey.

/

Albert and Jenny were now in front of Albert's house, talking.

Jenny: So Albert, you wanted to talk to me?

Albert: Yes. Well, you see, I've been thinking about you these past few...minutes and well...

Jenny: What?

Albert: Well...I think you're kinda cute.

Jenny: Really?

Albert: Yes, and I know not too many people like you but...I do.

Jenny: That's so sweet! You're not too bad yourself.

Albert: Thanks.

Albert (thinking): Wow! I can't believe it! I don't even care about this stupid bet anymore! I really like her! Man, I've gotta call off this bet!

Albert: Um, excuse me a moment.

Albert then went off to find Coltrane. Luckily, he saw Coltrane talking to Stacy on the other side of the street.

Albert: Hey Coltrane!

Coltrane: What is it?

Albert: Can I talk to you over here for a second?

Coltrane: Sure. Be back in a sec.

Stacy: Okay.

Coltrane and Albert walked to the side of the house to talk.

Stacy: Hmmmmm, I'm not one to eavesdrop, but I am curious as to what they are talking about. Better check it out.

Stacy then walked over there to listen in on their conversation.

Albert: Coltrane, we have to call this whole thing off!

Coltrane: The bet? No way!

Albert: Come on please! I think I might actually...like Jenny!

Coltrane: Well good for you. But there's no way I'm calling off the bet. The deal was whoever gets a girl to kiss them by the end of the day wins! And there's no way I'm losing.

Albert: So you chose Stacy? Simply because of the bet?

Coltrane: Well kind of. If I wasn't in a bet right now I probably wouldn't have gone after her again in the first place.

Stacy: Oh, really?

Coltrane: Stacy! How much of that did you hear?

Stacy: Just about enough.

Albert: Oh, this is good!

Stacy: So this was all part of some stupid bet?

Coltrane: Well, yes, but -

Stacy: But nothing! I don't want a guy who goes after me simply because of a bet! It's over!

Albert: Well, Coltrane, it seems as if you got what you deserved.

Coltrane: But you were a part of this bet too!

Albert: Yes, but I chose Jenny all on my own!

Stacy: So you really like her? Bet or not?

Albert: Yes. Yes, I do.

Jenny: Really?

Albert: Jenny! I didn't see you there!

Jenny: It's okay, Albert. I heard what you said.

Albert: You did?

Jenny: Yes. And I thought it was very sweet.

Albert: Really?

Jenny: Yes.

Albert: Well...do you like me back?

Jenny: Does this answer you question?

Jenny then leaned in and kissed Albert.

Albert: Wow. That was...wonderful.

Jenny: Thanks.

Albert: I wonder how Irving is doing.

/

Phineas and Ferb were having no luck in getting Irving to remember them.

Phineas: Okay Irving, you MUST remember us by now!

Irving: Nope. Still nothing.

Phineas: This is hopeless.

Just then, Candace, Stacy, Jenny, and Albert entered the backyard.

Candace: Hey boys. What happened to your baseball field? Did it disappear already?

Phineas: No we never built it. Irving got amnesia. We're trying to get him to remember us.

Candace: Can't you just bonk him on the head like in the Cartoons?

Buford: Told you!

Albert: Irving lost his memory? How cliché.

Irving: Who are you guys?

Candace: Well...I'm Candace.

Irving: Hello. Hey, you're kinda cute.

Phineas: Wow. Didn't expect him to say that.

Irving: Wait, I remember you guys! You're the one that always yells, you're the one that likes shoes, and you're the hippie!

Albert: Don't call her a hippie, Irving!

Irving: And you're my annoying brother!

Albert: He catches on quickly.

Phineas: And I'm...

Irving: I have no idea.

Phineas; UGH! /

Back at DEI, Doof was firing his Bean-inator.

Doofenshmirtz: Yes! Soon everyone will be beaned in the head!

Then Perry jumped up and punched him in the face.

Doofenshmirtz: Hey! Why does that always happen to me?

Doofenshmirtz then ran back to the Bean-inator.

Doofenshmirtz: Perry The Platypus, prepare to get beaned!

Doofenshmirtz started firing the Bean-inator at Perry, but he simply dodged every single baseball.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, that's it! Time to bring this baby to full power!

Doofenshmirtz then put the machine on full power. The machine started going crazy, shooting baseballs everywhere.

Doofenshmirtz: Ahhhh! Perry The Platypus, stop this crazy thing!

Thankfully, the machine exploded, which caused...raining baseballs. Perry the Platypus then flew away on his jetpack.

Doofenshmirtz: Well, it looks like I struck out. Curse you, Perry The Platypus!

/

The raining baseballs then started to fall onto a sporting goods store. Guess who owns it.

Nagging Wife: I can't believe you sold that bug spray store and bought a sporting goods store and forgot to buy any sporting goods! I mean, what did you thin tjatk...baseballs are gonna land on my head, aren't they?

Husband: Bingo.

Then a bunch of baseballs landed on her.

Husband: At this point, I should just retire.

/

Back in the backyard, Irving still had yet to remember Phineas.

Albert: Come one Irving, don't you remember them?

Irving: I told you, I don't!

Phineas: Come on Irving! You have to remember us! You're obsessed about us! You have a scrapbook about us! You got in our car when our mom stopped for gas! You watched us while we sleep!

Irving: That's...creepy.

Albert: Yes. Yes it is.

Phineas: Remember us, Irving! I think you're a cool guy, you're not annoying at all! I miss you, Irving!

Buford: Wow...what a wimp.

Just then Perry arrived.

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.

Irving: Huh? What? Oh, hi, Perry.

Phineas: Oh great, now he remembers Perry!

Irving: Phineas, what's wrong?

Phineas: Oh nothing it's just that - did you just say my name?

Irving: Yes. Why wouldn't I?

Phineas: Irving! You remember me! And Ferb too.

Irving: What are you talking about?

Albert: Irving, you lost your memory!

Irving: I did? How cliché. Did I do anything...embarrassing?

Phineas: Other then when you called Candace cute, nothing.

Irving: Did I say that? I meant uh...I've got nothing.

Candace: No comment.

Phineas: Come on, let's go get something to eat.

Irving: So Albert, how was your day?

Albert: It was...*Snaps* Ok!

Irving: Albert, please never EVER do that again.

Albert:....I liked you better when you didn't know anything

[End Of Episode 8]