Carl's Pop Song Reviews

''' Closed Captioning By: This was something that I got from the internet by this guy named ToddintheShadows. NONE of this stuff belong to me. The songs belong to their original owner and I DO not own the P&F characters. '''

Carl's Pop Song Reviews is a TV show where Carl the Intern reviews very bad pop songs.

Characters
Carl: the guy who reviews bad pop songs

Vanessa: Carl's love interest. He tries to use pick up lines from the song "OMG" to get her attention, but Vanessa thinks he's being weird and rejects him.

Major Monogram: Carl's boss. He threatened to play Alexis Texas (parody of Hannah Montana) songs when Carl started to get bored of reviewing songs.

Suzy Johnson: Plays Lady GaGa/Miley Cyrus in this series. When she plays Lady GaGa, Carl is scared of her, and when she plays Miley, Carl makes fun of her.

Stacy Hirano: Plays Ke$ha/Fergie in this series. Carl hates her. She also spells her name $tacy when she plays Ke$ha.

Coltrane: Plays will.i.am/Usher/a bunch of R&B singers and rappers. Carl has mixed feelings about him.

Phineas Flynn: Plays Soulja Boy, or "Phinny Boy". He sings a lot of terrible rap songs. Carl hates him. He also started a rap group with Ferb, Stacy, and Coltrane called PFSC. Unfortunately, Stacy and Coltrane do all the singing, and Phineas sometimes sings.

Ferb Fletcher: Plays Justin Bieber. Carl hates him for the obvious. He has a high-pitched British accent that makes him sound like he's five when he's ten. He has a lot of fangirls. He was made famous because of Coltrane. He's also in PFSC, but he never gets a chance to sing.

Jeremy Johnson: Plays the lead singer who sings "Hey, Soul Sister." Jeremy sounds very high pitched in this song for unknown reasons, so Carl thinks this song is corny and annoying.

Mindy: Plays Taylor Swift. Carl thinks she's annoying.

Jenny:`Plays Beyonce. Carl is a dedicated hater to her. He also hates the fact that she sings endless breakup songs.

Baljeet Rai: Plays Jay Sean/Lil Wayne (or Lil Jeet) Carl has mixed feelings about him.

Buford Von Stomm: Plays Chris Brown. Carl hates him because he seriously hurt Adyson, and Carl is Adyson's biggest fan. He also thinks Buford is untalented.

Adyson: Plays Rihanna. Carl is her biggest fan.

Candace Flynn: Plays Katy Perry. Carl hates her, but she keeps making pop songs that Carl likes.

Isabella Garcia-Shapiro: Plays Willow Smith. Due to "Izzy's Got the Frizzies", she made her own hit single, Whip My Hair. Carl finds it annoying. She also plays Nicki Minaj, and Carl think she has an annoying voice.

Season 1 Episodes
1A/1B: Baljeet is Going Down/Who's Baljeet Rai?: Carl reviews "Down" and "Do You Remember". He thinks Baljeet is uninteresting.

2A/2B: Suzy's Stalker/E-V-I-L S-U-Z-Y: Carl reviews "Paparazzi" and "Bad Romance". Carl is scared of her.

3A/3B: Party in the Tri-State Area/Stacy's Party: Carl reviews "Party in the USA" and "Tik Tok". He hates both Suzy and Stacy.

4A/4B: The Breakup That Went Horribly Wrong/Izzy's Got the Frizzies: Carl reviews a rap song called "Break Up" that sucks. It is performed by Coltrane, Jeremy, and a random friend of theirs. Jeremy fails to rap, and the music is not in sync with the singing. Jeremy's rapping mentor was Phinny Boy, which was unfortunate. In IGTF, Carl reviews "Whip My Hair". He also realizes that Isabella's message in "Whip My Hair" is not caring about her haters. Carl decides to put on a put on a blonde wig and whip his hair at his "haters": Gretchen, Perry, Major Monogram, and Vanessa. They think he needs serious help, and he ends up making a fool out of himself.

5: What a Bad Friend: Carl reviews the song "Fifteen". Even though both he and Mindy are 15, he thinks that she has no idea about what being 15 is about, due to Mindy talking about wanting the attention of senior boys, going on a first date, and her "best friend" Candace getting taking advantage of by an older guy.

6A/6B: Untalentless Much? Parts 1 and 2: Carl reviews the songs "I Can Transform Ya" by Buford featuring Lil Jeet and "Whatcha Say" by Coltrane. Due to them using Autotune in their voices, Carl declares that they have no talent. He also hates Buford for hurting Adyson.

7A/7B: The Worst Songs of 2009: Carl reviews his worst songs of 2009. The ones on the list were "The Climb" by Suzy Johnson, "If I Were a Boy" by Jenny, "One Time" by Ferb Fletcher, the seventh one was too inappropriate, so it was cut out, but it was sung by Jeremy, "Kiss Me Thru the Phone" by Phinny Boy, "I'm Yours" by Django Brown, "Boom Boom Pow" by PFSC, "Single Ladies" by Jenny, "Break Up" (the Coltrane and Jeremy song where Jeremy failed to rap in "The Breakup That Went Horribly Wrong"), and "Diva" by Jenny. The number 1 song, "Diva" made Carl sick and he had to end the show early because he felt like throwing up.

8A/8B: The Best Songs of 2009: Some kids in Danville called Carl a "pop song hater", so Carl decided to prove them wrong. Notable songs: "Hot N Cold" by Candace Flynn, "Meet Me Halfway" and "I Got a Feeling" by PFSC, and "Just Dance" by Lady Suzy.

Season 2 Episodes
9A/9B: Who is Annoying Stacy?/Stacy's Crush: Carl reviews "Blah Blah Blah" and "Your Love is My Drug". He absolutely hates "Blah Blah Blah" and he thinks "YLIMD" is an annoying song and is NOT about love. Also, Stacy's crush is on a guy who looks like Mick Jagger with a beard.

10A/10B: Suzy and Jenny's Scheme/Suzy's Relationship Problems: Carl reviews "Telephone" and "Alejandro". He thinks both songs are overrated, and the music videos have NOTHING to do with the songs' lyrical content. In "Suzy and Jenny's Scheme", Carl says that Suzy (as Miley Cyrus), Isabella, and Candace were inspired to make weird and creepy music videos of themselves.

11A/11B:Stacy and Coltrane are Bees!: Carl reviews "Imma Be". He thinks the whole song is PFSC telling the world that they are bees. He also thinks that this song is annoying and Stacy and Coltrane talking about how awesome they are isn't interesting at all.

12A/12B:The Sun-Beater 3000: Carl reviews "Like a G6". Jenny sings the chorus, and Phineas, Ferb, Buford, and Baljeet fail to rap. Carl figures out that a G6 does NOT exist, and the plane that Phineas, Ferb, Buford, and Baljeet get on at the end of the music video is NOT a G6; it's a Sun-Beater 3000.

13A/13B:Carl's Failed Dating Life: Carl reviews "OMG". Due to Coltrane's corny pick up lines in the song, Carl tries to use them to get the attention of Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, but ultimately fails. Carl also says that this song is the reason why Coltrane can't maintain a relationship (he had a relationship with a crazy fan, but it didn't work out).

14A/14B:The Club Can't Handle Baljeet/Jeremy's Soul Sister: Carl reviews "Club Can't Handle Me" and "Hey, Soul Sister". He thinks Baljeet is still uninteresting, and when $tacy was beginning her career, she didn't want to be associated with Baljeet. He also thinks Baljeet needs to stop writing songs about the club. At first, Carl didn't want to review this song, but Major Monogram threatens him to by playing the "Hoedown Throwdown" by Alexis Texas. In Jeremy's Soul Sister, he complains about Jeremy's voice, which suddenly became high pitched for no reason at all. He thinks "Hey, Soul Sister" is a corny song.

15A/15B:Gretchen is an Eenie Meenie Miney Mo Lover/Cooler Than Albert: Carl reviews "Eenie Meenie" and "Cooler Than Me". He thinks Ferb needs to go away, and he is cooler than Albert. In "Eenie Meenie", Gretchen looks about ten years older than Ferb and Buford combined in the music video.

16A/16B:Buford's Break Up Song: Carl reviews a song called "Deuces". Due to the Adyson incident, Carl hates Buford. He also thinks Buford does NOT get to make a song like this, and Django and a random person's rapping is LAME.

17A, B, C, and D:Alexis Texas:the Movie/Alexis Texas Guitar Hero: Carl decides to review Suzy Johnson's movie since her new single "Can't Be Tamed" failed before he had a chance to review it. In the movie, Suzy's double life thing is going way over her head. Her agent Lindana takes her out shopping instead of doing important things like seeing her brother Jeremy off to college or attending Isabella's birthday party. She also gets in a shoe fight with Candace Flynn. Her dad becomes angry with this and makes her go to Tennessee. Her love interest there is Irving, and even though people Carl's age shouldn't be watching this movie, he still thinks it's a terrible movie. At the end of a movie, when Suzy takes her wig off and sings "The Climb", a fan tells Suzy to still be Alexis; the town will keep her secret. Lindana, Irving, Isabella, and the rest of the town beg her to be Alexis, and Suzy does. Suzy and Irving became a couple at the end, but Carl didn't care because he didn't like the ending AT ALL. In Alexis Texas Guitar Hero, Carl talks about how as a joke, the OWCA decided to give him an Alexis Texas Guitar Hero for his birthday. The ATGH is $60, and Carl says it's a waste of money and warns the viewers to NEVER buy it.

18A/18B:The Worst Songs of 2010:Carl reviews bad songs of 2010. The songs he reviewed were "I Like It" by Django Brown (in a very high pitched voice) ft. Buford, "In My Head" by Coltrane, "Teach Me How to Dougie" by Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, Irving, and Django, "All the Right Moves" by Jeremy and the Incidentals, "Billionaire" by Ferb Fletcher ft. Jeremy Johnson, "Mine" by Mindy, "Danville Gurls" by Candace Flynn ft. Coltrane, "My First Kiss" by Phineas and Ferb ft. Stacy, and "Take It Off" by Stacy.


 * In this episode, Carl thinks that Django sounds like a girl in "I Like It".


 * He also says that Coltrane has no talent, and he sucks.


 * The "Teach Me How to Dougie" song has a video were Phineas, Ferb, and Irving, wearing 5xxxl clothing, "demonstrating" the Dougie, which isn't much.


 * Carl has never listened to "All the Right Moves" the full time because he found it INCREDIBLY boring.


 * Ferb's song "Billionaire" was a rip off, according to Carl, of some other song.


 * The "uh-oh-oh" Mindy does in the song "Mine" reminds Carl of some very annoying 80's song where the singer was saying "oh! oh!" every five seconds.


 * Carl refuses to believe that Coltrane wrote his own rap verse in the song "Danville Gurls". He thinks that Candace and the producers dragged him out of bed and made him rap something.


 * Because of "Blah Blah Blah" and "My First Kiss", Carl thinks that Phineas, Ferb, and Stacy are made for each other and should have a bizarre three person marriage and not have children.

19A/19B: The Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2010: Carl reviews the best songs of 2010. The songs were "Magic" by Ferb ft. Albert, "Find Your Love" by Phineas, "Teenage Dream" by Candace, "Danville Gurls" by Candace ft Coltrane, "Nothin on You" by Ferb ft. Jeremy, "Animal" by Jeremy and the Incidentals, "Empire State of Mind" by Heinz Doofenshmirtz ft Holly, "Rude Boy" by Adyson, "Need You Now" by Lindana ft Max Modem, and "DJ Got Us Fallin in Love" by Coltrane ft. Buford.
 * Because of Stacy's fourth single, "Take It Off", Carl says his brain had "collapsed". He says that Stacy's inspiration for this song is from a kindergarten chant (which is actually TRUE) and he wants Stacy to go away.
 * "Need You Know" was the number 1 song in Carl's opinion.

Season 3 Episodes
20A: The Time of the Dirty Bit: Carl reviews "The Time (Dirty Bit) by PFSC. He said that they ruined a classic song, and Stacy and Coltrane cannot sing live, based on their terrible performance in the Super Bowl. Carl is mad at Phineas for using an overused "swagger/Mick Jagger" rhyme in the song, and says that PFSC is so desperate that they are ripping off Stacy solo songs. He also declares this as the worse song PFSC has ever made.