The Panic Room: A Satire of Strange Character Pairings

The following story is a satire of some of the oddest pairings in the Phineas and Ferb fanbase. I apologize if anyone is offended by this story.



Phineas's POV
It was the scariest day of my life. I, Phineas, and my brother Ferb went online to check out the Phineas and Ferb fanbase. That was a mistake. "What's this?" I ask. "'Phinerb'? What on...oh my gosh..." Ferb gives me a curious look. "You don't wanna know..." I say to him. Ferb looks at the screen anyway--and immediately regrets it. Even though we know we shouldn't, we look at more stuff... "67% of our fans on DA want us to WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!" I scream, my face wearing a look of disgust.

Ferb's POV
I am about the lose my lunch. Seriously, what's up with...that?! "Phineas..." I manage to say. "I need a spew bucket..." Phineas hands me one.

Phineas's POV
I cringe and look away as Ferb throws up. When he's done, we look at each other, and have the same thought. "PANIC ROOM! NOW!" I shout. We rush down there, and sit on the ground, shaking and whimpering.

Candace's POV
I run to Phineas and Ferb's room, positive that they're up to something. But when I get there, the door's open, and I'm the only one there. I see the computer was left on, and walk up to it to see what they were doing--and end up wishing I hadn't. "Ewww..." I say. Then I see something with the word "Candacy". Curious, I look--and am disgusted. "EWWW!" I shout, as Stacy walks in the room. "Don't look at the computer!" I warn, but it's too late--she sees it. We stare at each other, and realize we have the same thought. We scream, and run to the Panic Room. Unsurprisingly, Phineas and Ferb are already there.

Baljeet's POV
Phineas and Ferb are not in the backyard as I was expecting. I decide to look for them inside. I walk into their room, and see the computer is on. For some reason, I walk to it, take one look... Next minute, I am looking at a "Baljinda" picture. Horrified, I scream and run to the Panic Room.

Buford's POV
Seriously, what's with the living Ducky Momo plush toy? It's been chasing me all day, and it's driving me nuts! I run into Phineas and Ferb's house for shelter. I run up to their room, but they're not there. Who can help me now? I see the computer, and soon find myself looking at a page called "Ducky Moford". Just then, Ducky Momo himself is right next to me. We look at each other, and quickly run to the Panic Room, squealing like girls the whole way.

Doof's POV
I just wanted to browse the internet. That's all. Nothing evil right now. But now I'm staring at a YouTube video that pairs me with a little girl in pink. I scream at the computer screen, just as my daughter walks in.

Vanessa's POV
"Dad!" I shout. "Why are you yelling at the--oh...weird..." "I know!" Dad says. "And what...?" "'Pernessa'?" I yell in horror and disgust. "You with my nemesis?!?!?!?!?! I don't think so!" Dad shouts. Soon, we find ourselves running out the door and to who-knows-where.

Isabella's POV
"Whacha doin?" I ask as I step into the yard--only to be greeted by silence. "Phineas? Ferb?" I go inside and upstairs, but they aren't there. Where are they? I see the computer is on, and wonder if maybe looking at it will explain what's going on. Total mistake.

Perry's POV
I crash through the wall and land perfectly on my feet. But Doof isn't here! I see he left his laptop on, and go to look. PERNESSA?!?!?!!?!?!? Preposterous! Terrified, I rip my hat off and bolt towards home, intent on hiding in the Panic Room.

Doof's POV
We come to someone's house, and go inside for no apparent reason. We find a room called The Panic Room and run inside. There are already people crammed in here! Did they see weird things online too?

Isabella's POV
I find the Panic Room, and run inside. Many of my friends are here, as well as...AHHHHHHHHHH!

Perry's POV
Good thing I'm in pet mode, cuz I run into the Panic Room and see everyone there, including...OH NOES! AHHHHHHHHH!

Narrator's POV
Phineas sees Perry and hugs him tightly, still shaking. Phineas and Ferb glance at each other. Candace and Stacy glance at each other. Baljeet doesn't glance at anyone. Buford and Ducky Momo glance at each other. Doof and Isabella glance at each other. Perry and Vanessa glance at each other. And everyone screams the same word at the top of their lungs:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And that is why there are pumpkins.