Battle of the Pop Bands/Transcript

Act I
(Scene starts at the Flynn-Fletcher house, in the Music Room. Ivan is seen playing on the keyboard. He plays the first few notes of "The Final Countdown" by Europe. He screws up.)

Ivan: Damn it!

(He tries again, but screws up once more)

Ivan: D'oh!

(Scene cuts to the backyard, where Phineas & Ferb hear Ivan's music as he screws up)

Ivan: Глупые ноты! (Lousy notes!)

Phineas: I think Ivan needs some practice.

(Scene cuts to Candace's room. She heard Ivan's music as he yet again screws up. Ivan grunts in anger, rips the notes apart. Candace goes inside the Music Room.)

Candace: Ivan, what's wrong?

Ivan: I can't even play the Final Countdown right on the keyboard!

Candace: Don't worry. Even professionals screw up at times.

Ivan: Don't you see, Candace? Music is my dream & passion. Someday I wish to be in a band. But I'm not joining the Phineas and the Ferb-Tones band, not after that reunion tour.

Candace: Boy, do I know that feeling! I was about to become a star, when suddenly everything went black. I was so close!

Ivan: Not to worry, darling. You'll get your chance in the band soon enough. I better ask Jeremy to let him join my band! Hey, where's Perry?

(Perry enters the hideout)

Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. Doofenshmirtz & Brendan Townsend are currently planning to build an auto tune machine to make their own voices autotuned. Now hurry up and stop them! Good luck!

Act II
(Scene cuts to Jeremy's house, where Ivan is seen with Jeremy, who looks angry)

Ivan: Can I join your band, Jeremy?

Jeremy: Absolutely not!

Ivan: But I listen to your songs! You owe me, Jeremy!

Jeremy: I really appreciate your help, Ivan, but my band is already full.

Ivan: Aw, man! That's lame! Why can't I be your backup keyboardist or bass guitarist?

Jeremy: I'm really sorry.

Ivan: I understand, but look at Marty the Rabbit Boy & his musical blender over here! He got famous, right! All he needed was a blender! And I'm like one of the few people who didn't mistake him or the musical blender for Phineas or Ferb.

(Coltrane goes to Jeremy, sees Ivan)

Coltrane: Look, why don't you start your own band?

Ivan: Hey, yeah! You just gave me an idea! Thanks, Coltrane!

Coltrane: Don't mention it!

Jeremy: How does he know your name?

Coltrane: He might have looked our band up on the Internet.

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.! ♪

(Perry enters without his hat on, where Doofenshmirtz & Brendan are building an auto-tune machine)

Brendan: Ah, Perry the Platypus!

Doofenshmirtz: How were you able to tell that's Perry when he's not holding his hat?

Brendan: Because I've seen him numerous times without his hat on, idiot!

Doofenshmirtz: Hey, nobody calls me an idiot! (To Perry) Anyway, BEHOLD! The Autotune-inator!