So Busted

So Busted is fanon episode of Phineas and Ferb. Phineas grinned at his brother. "Ready?"

Ferb put his welding glasses on and gave him a thumbs up.

The triangle-headed boy did the same, and then pushed the little red button.

Isabella went flying, her joyful scream reaching their ears in a pleasant way. She soared back down to earth, and hit the ground rolling. Lights flashed as she tumbled across the giant game board. The bumpers flicked her back into play, and she bounced between a few more pins.

"This is the best idea we've ever had," Phineas said happily.

Buford and Baljeet were working the bumpers, keeping the Isa-ball-a in play. "High score!" Buford shouted.

Little did the boys know that a force of evil was scoping them out from the living room, binoculars pinned to her eyes. "I figured it out, Stacey," Candace murmured into her phone. "I won't even tell them I'm busting them. I'm just going to sit here until Mom gets home and then I'll bust them."

"Um, don't you think this is going a little too far?" Stacey wondered, concern evident in her voice.

"NO IT IS NOT!" Candace shouted. On the other end of the line, Stacey cowered at her ferocity.

Meanwhile, at Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc., Perry was in the process of foiling Doof's latest evil scheme. This one involved an oversize Ducky Momo costume and several jars of peanut butter.

"How did you escape your trap, Perry the Platypus?" Doof wondered. He stared at the sticky goops of peanut butter in confusion, certain that his trap had been foolproof.

It may have been foolproof, but it was not platypus-proof.

Perry smacked him with his epic beaver tail. Doof then got out his peanut-butter-glob-firing-inator and started shooting at the evasive agent. Perry then hid in the Ducky Momo costume, causing Doof to destroy his own evil plan by pelting it with globs of peanut butter.

"Gah! Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Doof cried agonizingly. Perry slid out of the costume and, taking care to tread on the peanut-butter-glob-firing-inator, he left the building.

Back at the Flynn/Fletcher household, Candace was glued to the window, determined not to miss a moment of what was happening outside. Her mom's crocheting class had ended about ten minutes ago, and any moment now the red car would be pulling into the driveway. The boys' giant human pinball machine still hadn't vanished.

"Mustn't get too confident now," she told herself. "If I think this is my lucky day, it'll fold up into a little present or sink into the ground or get carried away by a helicopter. Can't let myself get cocky." Determinedly, she continued to gaze at the backyard.

Her heart pounded as she heard the front door open. She couldn't believe it. It was still there. The jingling of keys reached her ears, and it took all her self control not to run and drag her mother to the window.

"Candace, look at what I made for the boys," she heard her mother call. "I've been working on it for weeks and—Candace? Why are you staring at the backyard?"

Candace took a deep breath and chanced to speak. "Come and see," she said simply, and winced. What if speaking the words had jinxed it somehow?

"Honey, I don't see what could possibly be out there that you—." She gasped. "Oh my gosh," she breathed. Her voice escalated into a yell. "What are they doing!" Linda rushed outside, her face getting redder by the minute.

Candace followed cautiously. It was too good to be true. Maybe this wasn't her mom, like that one time with the alien. Or maybe she would suffer from short term memory loss, and the boys would get away with yet another crazy stunt.

"Oh. Hey Mom!" Phineas called, waving happily. "Like our pinball machine?"

"LIKE IT?" screamed Linda.

Ferb met Phineas's eyes and gave him a thumbs up. Candace felt a grin splitting her lips. This was the moment she had been waiting for. She got herself ready for the "so busted" dance.

"I can't believe you two did this!" she yelled, and the boys cowered back in fear. "Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? You could get killed! And you put all the kids in the neighborhood in danger, too. How could my sons be so irresponsible? You are grounded, Phineas and Ferb! For… for the rest of summer!"

The two were silent as they stared at their fuming mother in shock. Finally, a single word escaped Ferb's mouth. "What?" he said disbelievingly.

"You heard me, GROUNDED!" Linda shrieked. "Go to your room, the both of you! I'm calling your father the instant I get back inside the house. Just wait until he hears about this!"

"Yes!" Candace cheered. "So busted, so busted, so busted!"

"Um, Mrs. Flynn," Isabella said innocently, her eyes still spinning from being the ball, "we weren't doing anything dangerous. We do things like this all the time, and—."

"WHAT?" she exclaimed. "All the TIME? Oh, I am calling your parents, young lady. And yours, and yours, Baljeet and Buford. I suggest you go home and tell them yourselves before you make things any worse for yourselves." She turned to Candace, who was still happily dancing around. "Honey, I am so sorry I never believed you. How many times have my babies been in mortal danger this summer?"

"Only every day!" Candace told her happily.

Linda sighed, and she looked close to tears. "I'm calling Lawrence," she said, and she went into the house.

Candace skipped after her, the happiest she'd ever been. This was the best day ever. "Oh, there you are Perry," she said, noticing the blue-furred platypus.

"I thought I told you two to go to your room!" Linda commanded.

Candace blinked through her blissful happiness and saw her brothers standing on the stairs.

"We are," Phineas assured her. And then, just before he proceeded up to the second floor, Candace saw something she had never seen on the face of her brother before.

A truly furious, coldhearted glare.

"Candace doesn't want us to have fun," Phineas declared to Ferb. "That's what she's been trying to do all summer; get us in trouble so we won't have fun anymore."

"It is rather cruel," Ferb mentioned.

"Cruel?" Phineas repeated. "It's awful! Terrible! Beyond the normal brother-sister meanness! There was nothing wrong with what we were doing." Phineas paused, and Ferb could practically see the light bulb appearing over his brother's triangle head. "Ferb," he said evilly, "I know what we're going to do tomorrow."

Ferb blinked blankly. They were grounded. Everyone knew that when you were grounded, you couldn't do anything. Mom's word was law.

"I know, I know," Phineas said, looking guilty. "We'll be breaking Mom's rules, but we wouldn't have to do that if a certain sister hadn't ruined everything for us."

Ferb blinked in understanding. He pulled out the project book.

"Good thinking," agreed his brother. "This will take a while to plan."

When morning came, the boys woke up, satisfied with the plot they had come up with earlier. It was perfect, and, most importantly, it was mean.

"Ready Ferb?" Phineas asked his brother.

Ferb blinked in response, and in a heartbeat they had sped out of the room and assumed their places at the table.

"Phineas! Ferb!" cried Linda, looking at them indignantly from behind the kitchen counter. "What are you going to do today?"

"We're going to b—ow," Phineas said, massaging the place Ferb had elbowed him. "I mean we're not doing anything, because we're grounded."

"You've got that right, young man," she continued. She began wiping the counter of whatever. "Candace is going to be in charge. The fastest flight your father could get from Britain lands four hours away, so I'll be gone for the day."

"Okay," Phineas replied.

Linda glared at the stain in the counter. "And when we get back, ooh, you two will be in so much trouble."

Phineas and Ferb blinked at each other. "Okay," he said again. He looked around awkwardly, and in doing so, noticed the absence of a certain semi-aquatic egg laying mammal. "Hey, where's Perry?" he asked.

The answer to that was Candace's room. When Perry was certain no one was looking, he stood up on his back feet and donned his hat. He snuck under her bed, so that only his eyes were visible. Abruptly, those vanished as well, and he reappeared in the briefing room, Major Monogram's enormous face being played on the screen.

"Good morning, Agent P," said MM. "There's something different about you today. Is that a new hat?"

Perry said nothing.

"Well, it looks striking," he continued. "Anyways, Doofenshmirtz recently took up a day job at the local animal shelter. We know that he's not one to volunteer his good services like that, so your mission is to find out his ulterior motive, and stop him if necessary."

The platypus saluted. A metal claw extended from the ceiling (much to our loyal agent's alarm) and picked him up. As he exited the room via giant metal claw, the music kicked in, with a girl's choir of "A-gent P!"

Candace gleefully waved Linda goodbye from the driveway, watching the dejected faces in the living room window from the corner of her eye. Finally! Her brothers had been busted. This called for a victory song.

"I finally did it

The boys have been busted

I never quit it

I'm again trusted

Because they're GROUNDED

And that's how they're gonna stay!

Yes they're GROUNED

So I'm gonna call Jere-may!"

And with that, she pulled out her phone and dialed his number.

Inside, Phineas and Ferb had stopped watching their sister, and instead took over her song.

"Yes we're GROUNDED

But that's not gonna stop us

Forever GROUNDED

Because our parents don't trust us

We're gonna get her back!

Plan Candace: Attack!

She will regret the day

She took our summer away

The war is on

It has been from the get go

And in the form of song

This is our manifesto!

The boys gave a final jam on the guitars they had pulled out of thin air somewhere near the middle of Phineas's singing. "Great imrpov, brother," Ferb congratulated.

"Thanks," Phineas said. "Your dancing was pretty spectacular." He tossed his guitar away. "Now, we can't perform this plan alone. Think Isabella will be up for some revenge?"

"Of course!" cried the black haired girl. The boys were standing outside her bedroom window, as it was on the ground floor of her house. "It is Fireside Girl policy to seek vengeance on those who have wronged you!"

"Aren't you grounded, too, though?" Phineas asked.

"Well, yeah," said Isabella guiltily, "but that's not going to stop me! You two said so yourselves, remember? The song?"

"Oh yeah," said Phineas. He extended his hand to help her get over the sill. She took it gratefully, and out she hopped. "Come on, we still need to get Baljeet and Buford."

"No, no, no," Baljeet said firmly. He folded his arms and shook his head. "I am in so much trouble because of you, Phineas. Do you not see this black sash on my arm?"

"I do see it, Baljeet, and I was going to ask you what it was for…" Phineas trailed off.

"It is a sign that I am a disrespectful child. A bad seed! My God, is your triangle head full of nothing but troublesome schemes? I cannot show my face in public without feeling such a terrible shame," finished their Indian friend angrily.

"I never meant for this to happen!" Phineas argued heatedly.

"You people make me sick!" replied Baljeet, butting heads with his former friend.

"Boys, boys!" Isabella interrupted, stepping between the two. "Arguing isn't going to get Candace into trouble. Baljeet, we could use your help. Would you?"

Baljeet looked pointedly away. "No thank you," he said firmly. "This is one antic I would rather like to sit out."

Phineas huffed at him. "Very well," he forced. "We can still try Buford. Goodbye, Baljeet."

"Goodbye, Phineas," replied Baljeet.

Doofenshmirtz holding a puppy!

Doof was holding the adorable little creature with caring hands, scratching it behind the ears so that its tail wagged happily. Abruptly, the door to the shelter burst open, revealing the most spectacular secret agent of all time with his dukes up.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus, right on time," Doof complimented. "Now, would you do me a favor?"

Perry blinked and lowered his fists.

Doof pressed a button on the wall, and a cage fell from the ceiling. It landed just to the right of its target. Perry's face went from one of fear to one of exasperation.

"Oh darn it," Doof cursed. "I guess you'll just have to pretend you're trapped so you can listen to my evil monologue. See, Perry the Platypus, when I was a young boy, all I ever wanted was a puppy. But my parents were evil, villainous fiends who got my brother Roger all the cats he could stand, and they left me puppy-less.

"Well, this is my revenge! I shall place a chip in all the ears of the puppies here in the animal shelter, like so—are you watching, Perry the Platypus? There. This will make them—when the chip is activated—obey only my voice. And then when the puppies are adopted, I shall still have control over them, and with an army of puppies I, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, shall control the entire Tristate Area!" Doof glanced at Perry, who arched an eyebrow. "What?" Doof asked. "It could work."

Perry nodded sarcastically.

Doof glared at him. He placed the puppy that was in his arms on the ground. "Sic him, Fido!"

The puppy ambled towards Perry, his tongue lolling. Perry blinked. It was too cute. He wanted to reach out and pet it, and did so. Abruptly, tiny puppy teeth sunk into his arm. If he could speak, what Perry would have said then was "YOW!"

"There she is," Phineas said, eyes in his binoculars. He, Ferb, and Isabella were hiding in the bushes outside Jeremy's house. They had encountered a problem with Buford similar to that they'd had with Baljeet, leaving the whole revenge business to the three of them.

"What's she doing?" Isabella inquired.

Phineas hesitated. "She's going to the door. Jeremy just opened the door. Now he's outside with her. They're walking, they're walking, they're COMING THIS WAY! DUCK!" he cried.

The three of them dove into the leaves just in time.

"Did you hear something, Candace?" Jeremy asked.

"You're interrupting my story of how I finally busted my brothers!" Candace said indignantly. "Anyways, so I was…"

Phineas glared in her direction, unable to believe what was reaching his ears. "That bitch!" he hissed, and Ferb winced at his cruel language. "Sorry Ferb, but she's really making me mad." He adjusted some of the leaves so he could see. "Quick, there they go. After them!"

As they inconspicuously trailed their sister, Isabella panted out her question. "So what… exactly are we going to do to get Candace?" she asked.

Ferb pulled out his camera and winked.

"What he said," Phineas agreed.

Isabella blinked. "But he didn't say anything," she protested. "Hey, wait up!"

"Okay," Phineas said, going into plan mode. "A date in the park. Perfect. Ferb, we covered that possibility, right?"

His brother pulled out the project book and leafed through the pages, finally presenting Phineas with a thumbs up.

"Excellent. Execute, plan Candace: Attack version P," commanded the triangle shaped boy.

"What do you want me to do?" asked Isabella.

Phineas pulled a rope out of nowhere. "Run this from that tree, across the path, and tie it around that bench over there, okay?" As she left to do as he said, Phineas turned to Ferb. "Position the camera over there, so we'll get a good angle. I'm going to place these roller skates near the ice cream cart. You know the rest."

Ferb nodded. He placed the camera as Phineas had instructed and checked the view. Perfect. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a stick of gum, which he proceeded to chew. Very sneakily, he crept over to the bench and placed the chewed gum on one of the wooden bars. Afterwards, he pulled a quarter from his pocket and set it delicately on the ground in front of the bench.

Phineas looked around, praying that the dog would be there. They had an alternate plan in case the dog wasn't there, but it would be so much more humiliating if it was. To his joy, he spied the mangy creature nosing around a trash bin. He found a sizable stick and lay in wait, ready to whistle at the given signal.

"Hey," Isabella panted, and he jumped. He hadn't been expecting her to join him. "Oh, it's that stray," she remarked, gesturing to the dog.

"Yup," Phineas replied, "and he's a key element in our plan. Oh!" he cried, and he lowered his voice. "Look, there they are!"

The two remained silent as Candace and her boyfriend took a seat on the bench… the same bench Isabella had tied the rope around and Ferb had stuck his gum on. Candace sat directly on the chewed wad. Perfect.

Candace and Jeremy talked for a bit, and Phineas watched intently as he waited for one of them to see the quarter. Abruptly, the two kissed, shocking the young boy. And it wasn't just a kiss; this was a full blown make out session.

"Ew," Phineas said, disgusted. "I thought people only did that in movies."

"You mean you don't want to do that with someone?" Isabella questioned with hurt in her voice.

Phineas noticed her pain, and was about to press the matter when Candace saw the quarter. He quickly forgot about Isabella and watched intently as she bent over to pick it up. Jeremy noticed the gum on her skirt as she did so. All according to plan.

Candace said something, and Jeremy assured her of something else. He then took the quarter, thinking he was saving Candace some dignity, and went to the ice cream cart to purchase a cone for her. Phineas almost laughed aloud. The blond headed boy was doing exactly the opposite.

Phineas raised the stick, and his lips formed a low whistle. The stray mutt's ears pricked up, searching for the source of the noise. He whistled again. This time the dog saw him, tail wagging and tongue hanging out happily.

"See the stick, boy?" Phineas coaxed, waving it slowly back and forth. The dog's eyes followed it intently. "See it? Then go GET IT!" And he threw the stick in Jeremy's general direction.

The mutt bolted after it. It got the stick, but it had too much momentum. Jeremy saw this, and tried to run, but alas, his feet landed in the roller skates Phineas had so conveniently placed earlier. Jeremy went rolling down the sidewalk, making sounds to indicate he was off balance. The dog continued to chase him as he fought to stay upright and keep from dropping Candace's ice cream.

"Oh no," he said, for he had seen the rope. He braced himself, expecting to trip, but he was going far too fast for that. Instead, he took the rope with him, dragging along the bench, which had Candace gum-glued to it.

Suddenly, the rope ran out, and the tree bent in an effort to keep its roots in the ground. Jeremy collided with Candace and the bench, dropping the ice cream on her. They were both pulled around by the rope, and finally launched into the fountain.

"Candace? Are you okay?" Jeremy said. His attempt to stand was foiled by the roller skates, and he fell again. However, in falling, he was able to get a good look at the roller skates stuck to his feet, particularly at the name written on them in Sharpie. He blinked. "You set this all up?"

"Huh?" repeated Candace. She tried to get off the bench, which was on top of her, but had no such luck. "What makes you think I would do something like this?"

Jeremy glared at her through his sopping bangs. "Maybe you want to break up with me," he said testily.

"What? No! Why would I want that?" Candace cried. "We're going to get married and have two kids! Xavier and Amanda. And then we'll grow old and—."

"That's just creepy," Jeremy growled.

Candace continued her vain effort to get her butt unstuck from the bench. "I don't understand!" she wailed.

"You know what? I think you did all this because you don't have a nickname," Jeremy said. He had finally managed to stand up. "Well now you do, Gum Butt. I'm leaving. And I never, ever want to see you again, Candace Flynn!" He stumbled out of the fountain. "And I'm keeping the roller skates!" he called as an afterthought. The mutt followed him, seeming to think he had thrown the stick. It whined for Jeremy to play some more.

Candace, having unstuck herself from the bench, sunk down into the shallows of the fountain, placed her head in her hands, and began to cry.

Phineas and Ferb hi-fived.

"That… that was really mean, you guys," Isabella said hesitantly.

"She deserved it," Ferb justified. He looked to Phineas. "What shall we do tomorrow, brother?"

"I don't know," Phineas said. His hand found Isabella's. "I kinda wanna try what Candace and Jeremy were doing before we destroyed their relationship."

Perry waved his arm around frantically. Doofenshmirtz laughed hysterically. "See? An army of puppies will give me what I want!" he chortled.

Snapping out of the pain, Perry launched himself at Doofenshmirtz. With a flurry of martial arts moves, the platypus knocked the doctor to the ground. He ripped the device that controlled the puppy's mind out of Doof's fingers and crushed it under his webbed foot.

"Aw, c'mon, Perry the platypus, that wasn't even a fight!" Doof cried in disappointment. "I mean, you hit me, what, four times? And it's over? I didn't even lay a hand on you! Hey, don't you go walking away, Perry the platypus, I didn't finish my rant!"

Perry rolled his eyes. He stooped by the puppy and pinched the device out of its ear. The dog shook its head and yapped excitedly. Perry crushed the chip between his fingers.

"Are you listening to me, Perry the platypus? This is an animal shelter, you know, I have hundreds of animal medical products at my disposal! I just might use those to take over the Tristate Area. What do you say to that, Perry the platypus?"

The door slammed shut, leaving Doofenshmirtz all alone with his puppy, Fido.

Phineas and Ferb hardly heard a word of their father's angry lecture. They were too busy relishing in the sobs of Candace upstairs as their mother tried to comfort her.

"…going into the eighth grade now, and I thought boys your age were more responsible…" Lawrence rambled on and on. "…had to leave London because of you two…Lord knows what would have happened if your sister hadn't been looking out for you—."

"Looking out for us?" Phineas repeated. He jumped off the couch, on his feet. "We were perfectly fine! We can take care of ourselves, Dad. Candace was just hell bent on getting us in trouble, and now that she's succeeded, what will either of us do all summer?"

"Where did you learn such language, young man? I'm beginning to think we should put you and Ferb in separate rooms, if these are the schemes that come out of both your heads!" Lawrence roared. "I don't care if your brains die of boredom! You could kill yourselves doing the shenanigans you've been doing and I won't hear another word of it!" He pointed up the stairs fiercely. "To your room!"

Both got off the couch, prepared to head up the stairs, when Lawrence interrupted. "Not you, Ferb. Just Phineas. I want to talk to you alone."

Eyes wide, Ferb sat back on the couch. Phineas cast one last glare at his father before marching up the stairs.

Lawrence sighed and sat down next to his son. He stared at him for a long time, wondering where on earth the green hair had come from. Absently, he placed his arm on his shoulder, patting him. "You know," he began, "I don't mind that you two were doing crazy, death defying things so much."

Ferb blinked and looked up at his father. It didn't make sense. They had broken rules, hadn't they? And when rules were broken, punishment had to be issued. Ferb was already prepared to sleep on the couch until the guest room was fixed into a suitable bedroom for him.

"No, what I do mind, though, is that your brother is acting so… rebellious, I suppose." Lawrence shook his head. "He's not my son, technically. I can't punish him without feeling a little guilty. But he is your brother. Please talk some sense into him, Franklin."

Ferb winced. The use of his full name wasn't a common occurrence, not even when he was in trouble. He did not move. A brother was a brother, and he felt they were justified in what they did to their sister. Not that their father knew it was them who did it.

Silently, Ferb got up and walked over to the stairs. He did not look back at his father. He would handle this on his own.

Phineas did not sleep that night. It wasn't the restless kind of wakefulness, but the kind where he wanted to stay awake. He had to sort out all the things that were buzzing around his head. When Ferb had finally crept into the darkened bedroom, he had feigned sleep so his brother wouldn't interrupt his thinking.

The silence in the room told him Ferb was awake as well. Perhaps his mind was busy also. It hardly mattered.

Until Ferb broke the silence.

"I think we should tell Jeremy it was us," he said simply. His voice sounded loud in the quiet of the room.

Phineas turned to stare at him. Ferb's eyes were trained to the ceiling, awaiting his reply. He narrowed his eyes and followed suit. "Why?" he asked the ceiling with anger in his voice.

Ferb exhaled softly. "Because," he began, "the damage has been done. Candace has been hurt. We don't need to elongate the torture."

"Out torture is going to last all summer, Ferb," Phineas snapped. "It's only fair that hers does the same."

"Phineas, what we're doing to her isn't torture. It's emotional murder. What if she kills herself over this?"

"Oh she won't do that," Phineas said, waving away his suggestion.

Ferb fell silent. Phineas leaned into his pillows, feeling victorious. He smiled as he thought about tomorrow. For some reason, it felt more exciting to do what his parents told him he shouldn't. It was more of an adrenaline rush. What if he could keep creating his crazy inventions in secret? It would be ten times more thrilling, ten times more fun. He could already feel the exhilaration in performing something his parents would shake their heads at. Who knew it would be fun to disobey?

There was a chattering sound, and Phineas turned his head. "Oh," he laughed. "There you are, Perry."

Ferb walked down the street alone. It felt weird, not having Phineas by his side, but the redhead had disappeared. Guilt ripped through the poor boy when he remembered that he was grounded, and he wasn't supposed to leave the house, but he had to set things right.

He walked up to Jeremy's front door, blinked a few times, and knocked. Not a minute later, the door was opened by Jeremy's younger sister. Ferb couldn't remember her name.

"Who are you?" she asked sweetly, with special emphasis on the last word.

Ferb just blinked at her. He was a man of few words, and he wasn't about to waste them on this annoying little girl.

The girl frowned. "JEREMY!" she yelled abruptly. Ferb jumped. "There's a guy with green hair at the door and he won't talk to me!"

A moment later, Jeremy appeared at the door. He regarded Ferb with distaste. "Go on inside, Suzy. He's here to talk to me." The little girl rushed back inside, and Jeremy closed the door. "What, Ferb?" he snapped.

Ferb blinked.

Jeremy continued to glare at him. "You could say anything; I won't take her back. That was the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me."

Again, the green headed boy blinked.

"No, that won't convince me of anything," he continued stubbornly.

Ferb's eyes grew big and sad, like those of a deer. He folded his hands in a pleading motion.

Jeremy's face softened a bit. "Don't beg, please. That was one thing I can't forgive her for. I mean, all that over a nickname?"

Ferb gave the slightest shake of his head.

"What?" he cried. "You mean that wasn't Candace? But they were her roller skates! And… wait a second." His expression changed. "There's something not fitting here. Why are you here all by yourself? Where's the other half of the dynamic duo?"

Sadly, Ferb looked away and shrugged. He had a pretty good idea, but he didn't want to voice it around someone who was so close with Candace. Ferb was sick of everyone getting in trouble.

To his surprise, Jeremy placed a hand on his shoulder. "Aw, don't worry, little guy. It's gonna be alright. I'm sure he's at home, waiting for you. Let's go. I've got some apologizing to do."

Ferb nodded. He and Jeremy walked back to his house, where Candace's wails could be heard even from the street. Together, they plodded through the door and up the stairs, where they went their separate ways.

Jeremy timidly opened the door to Candace's room, looked to Ferb for luck, and entered. Ferb turned to his own bedroom door, took a deep breath, and finally turned the knob.

The door swung open, and Ferb slammed it closed again. What in the name of the Queen was going on in there? Phineas? And Isabella? And unless his eyes had deceived him, they were doing something he was certain they shouldn't be.

"Ferb? What's the matter?" said Linda, appearing behind him. "Why are you just staring at the door? You can go in, you know."

He blinked. No he couldn't. No no no no no. He would feel like he was violating Phineas's privacy, and not to mention his brother would surely get mad at him if he did.

Linda stared at him. "Ferb? Are you alright?" She reached for the handle. "Did your brother throw you out? Phine—!"

Ferb knocked her hand away. He couldn't let her see Phineas and Isabella doing… that. "Jeremy's here," he said quickly.

"Oh?" said Linda. "Wow, that was a short fight. I should go make some pie to celebrate." And, thank God, she left.

Hesitantly, Ferb opened the door again. He exhaled in relief. Phineas and Isabella had stopped. They were still on Phineas's raft bed, a flush in their cheeks and their hair messy, but at least they weren't all entwined like earlier. And their clothes were still on. Now that would have been bad.

Phineas cleared his throat. "Ferb," he said, and there was a tone in his voice that Ferb had never heard before, "can't you see we're busy?"

Ferb walked straight across the room, rummaged through his sock drawer, and pulled out a notebook. He turned around and left the room, leaving the door wide open.

Before he even reached the end of the hall, he heard it close again. Ferb shuddered, and he ran the rest of the way to Candace's Panic Room.

He liked the Panic Room. It was nice and small and cut off from the rest of the family. Usually, when he went there, he would draw Vanessa in his notebook, or write down something that upset him.

Here was the first entry:

3-14-2005 Dad told me Mom died.

And that was all it said.

Afterwards, there were a few other dates that he had jotted down, like when Candace broke his favorite pen or when Perry was sick. Between those there were drawings of Vanessa, even one silly, childish cartoon of the two of them. Despite the embarrassment it caused him, Ferb could not bring himself to rip it out.

He picked up the pencil and flipped to the last page he had soiled with his words or doodles. This page had several drawings of eyes as he had fought to perfect Vanessa's perfect orbs. At the bottom, there was an open space. He chose to scrawl his sadness here.

7-24-2010 Caught Phineas with Isabella. Something's wrong with him.

Ferb set the pencil down and read over what he had written. It wasn't much, but the bareness of it helped to get his brain going. What exactly had he caught Phineas doing with Isabella? Something he was certain Phineas had considered gross not twenty-four hours ago. That was why he feared something was wrong with him.

Lawrence was right. Phineas was acting rebellious. Before, there had never been a need to act out. Now Ferb was extremely concerned for his brother. This was one story that couldn't have a happy ending.

He stayed in the Panic Room for a long time, forcing himself to calm down. Eventually he began to draw some of his favorite days from summer, like the roller coaster and the race car. When he and Phineas weren't breaking the rules and got along. When Isabella was a friend and not an object of Phineas's newfound lust.

She was just something Phineas was using to rebel against their parents. Isabella was going to get hurt at some point. It was only a matter of time.

Suddenly, Ferb began to wonder just how far Phineas would take this rebelling thing. Would he dabble with drugs? Alcohol? For God's sake, he was only thirteen! What if he started picking fights? He'd be killed!

Ferb knocked his head against the wall of the Panic Room, thinking of the irony. He was panicking in the Panic Room. Oh, how cute.

Finally, he heard Linda call for dinner. Ferb crawled out of the Panic Room, wondering where he could hide his notebook. He would need a new place for it, since Phineas had seen him retrieve it from the sock drawer. For now, Dad's old motorbike helmet would suffice.

Isabella ate dinner with them. Ferb couldn't believe how his parents didn't notice the playfully guilty looks she and Phineas shot each other across the table. He found that his appetite deteriorated with each glance they exchanged.

Of course, Linda noticed. "What's the matter, Ferb? Not hungry?" she inquired.

And, as it goes, her noticing led to Phineas noticing. "Yeah Ferb, why so down?" he asked, though his tone was everything but sympathetic. In fact, his expression was smug, as if he had intended for Ferb to feel the way he did.

Ferb looked at his father. "Can I sleep in the guest room from now on?" he asked.

Lawrence froze mid bite. His eyes flicked around the table, from Phineas (who was giving Ferb a challenging glare) to Ferb (who continued to look pleadingly at his father). "I suppose," he said finally.

Ferb said nothing, only met Phineas's glare with a blank expression. Abruptly, Ferb shoveled as much of his dinner as he could fit in his mouth, swallowed, and said, "Then I'll start cleaning."

As he walked away, he heard Linda talking to Phineas. "So," she said happily, "what did you and Isabella do today?"

"Nothing any good grounded kid with special privileges wouldn't do," Phineas replied, as if he'd rehearsed this reply. The table broke out in a formal laughter, and Ferb hurried to get away from it.

The guest room was a disaster. Dust lay around the room like an extra carpet. Cobwebs decorated each corner and the posts of the bed. Ferb coughed. He could hardly believe he would sleep on that. Maybe they could move his bed.

Ferb found the leaf blower they had tricked out a few years ago and switched it to Turbo Reverse. Everything flew towards him, but the room was cleaned. He flicked it off and set it down. A few pillows that had been sucked to the nozzle fell off sadly. Ferb gathered them up and began to rearrange them on the bed.

After an elongated period of making sure the pillows were perfect, he heard someone else enter the room. Looking up, Ferb saw Jeremy leaning on the doorway.

"Hey," he said gently, "do you need some help?"

Ferb shrugged. Jeremy stepped over the leaf blower and sat down on the bed next to Ferb. The younger boy stared up at him pitifully. Jeremy placed a hand on his shoulder. Ferb decided that this was the equivalent of a handshake nowadays. A very guilty, I-feel-sorry-for-you handshake.

"Something's up," he said. "I have never seen Phineas glare like that. Did you two have a fight?"

Again, he shrugged. This wasn't something Ferb was inclined to talk about, let alone with Jeremy. Perhaps if he remained silent, everyone would go away and let him think everything through.

After a few more unsuccessful attempts to get Ferb to talk, Jeremy left, saying Suzy was waiting for him at home. Ferb spent the next half hour trekking up the stairs, collecting his things, and bounding back down them. He made every effort possible to avoid his brother. He could feel Phineas watching him, though, and it only made him hurry even more.

Finally, all his things had been transported from the upstairs bedroom to the guest room on the ground floor. The movement of his bed would have to wait until tomorrow. Ferb could live with that. There couldn't be that many dead spiders under the covers, right?

The last thing Ferb needed was the notebook he had left in the basement. He headed down the stairs, bouncing up and down with each step. He searched the crowded floor, trying to locate the helmet he had stashed it in.

Panic coursed through him. Ferb raced the rest of the way down the stairs and came face to face with the person he wanted to see least. "Phineas!" he cried, something that was quite out of character for him.

Phineas was leaning against a box, the motorbike helmet upside down at his side and Ferb's notebook in his hands. He looked up at him quizzically, holding it up. "What is this?" he demanded.

Ferb said nothing. Phineas knew him well enough to interpret the silence.

"We're brothers, Ferb!" he exclaimed, waving the notebook around angrily. "We don't keep secrets like this from each other! When you're upset, you're supposed to talk to me, not a piece of paper. And who is this girl? You draw her an awful lot."

Ferb remained silent. His heart rate had spiked. The one thing no one was supposed to see was found by the person Ferb was slowly deciding he hated. He couldn't resist the urge to bite back. "What about you? Yesterday you never would have dreamed of kissing a girl, and what were you doing earlier?"

Phineas looked away. "That's different," he said.

"How so?" Ferb pressed.

"I was going to see if we could fix this, you know," snapped Phineas, changing the subject. "You're my brother. I don't like fighting with you."

"I don't like seeing you do things we both know you shouldn't," Ferb retaliated.

"So you're not going to go bungee jumping with me."

Ferb blinked. "We're grounded, Phineas. That term doesn't seem to mean anything to you anymore, but it does to me. I will not do anything that angers Mom."

Phineas huffed angrily. "Very well. You've chosen your path, I've chosen mine. I'll get Isabella and Buford to come with me."

"Have fun," Ferb told him.

"I will!" his brother cried. He stomped up the stairs, leaving Ferb alone in the darkness of the basement. He knelt down and picked up his notebook, dusting it off as he stood back up. Some of the pages had bent when Phineas dropped it. With a sigh, Ferb carried it up to his new bedroom to find a new hiding place for it.

Phineas and Isabella managed to convince Buford to come on their bungee jumping expedition off of the tallest building in Danville. Ferb locked himself in his new room and turned all his socks inside out, just for something to do.

Candace and Jeremy went on a date downtown. Lawrence tried to figure out how to take apart Ferb's bed to make it easier to transport, but unfortunately had no such luck. Ferb would have helped him had he been able to go in that room without seeing Phineas and Isabella on his brother's bed.

Meanwhile, Perry was in the briefing room, holding an empty coffee mug and giving Major Monogram the death glare. The major on the screen loosened his collar. "Look, Agent P, I know I said we'd get that cappuccino machine fixed last week, but our cappuccino machine repair guy is on a paid vacation with the front desk receptionist."

Perry continued to glare.

"I'm sorry, okay, but it's not my fault!" he continued.

Perry waved his hand, indicating he should get on with whatever the mission was.

"Oh right. Erm, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was seen walking around the supermarket yesterday, complaining about how he could never win. Afterwards, we saw him leave with a suspicious looking package. Your mission is to find out what it was, and how he intends to do evil with it." MM saluted, and Perry saluted exhaustedly back.

The platypus slid off his chair, eyelids drooping, and slouched to the slide.

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!

Perry opened the door lazily, still holding his empty coffee mug. He couldn't defeat Doofenshmirtz until he had his coffee. Perhaps the evil scientist would loan him a cup.

"Oh, Perry the Platypus, how completely unexpected," Doof said. "And by unexpected I mean… completely pected!"

Perry looked around, waiting for the trap, but nothing happened. He arched an eyebrow at his foe.

Doof sighed. "I'm sorry Perry the Platypus, but I just didn't have the heart to set a trap for you today. You see, I've been feeling rather down lately, since I can never beat you, you know? I am a disgrace to all evil geniuses everywhere."

Perry just looked at his empty cup to see if some caffeine had magically appeared there. None had.

"So, as is evil genius policy, I must kill myself."

This sent the secret agent into full alert. His expression asked the all too obvious question.

"Why?" Doof said. "I just said why. I was actually considering jumping out the window," he gestured to the open window, "because my building is the tallest in the Tristate Area. But you see, I bought a gun yesterday instead. I always wanted to shoot one, so why not at my own head?"

Perry blinked and dropped his coffee mug. Doofenshmirtz was crazy! Sure, Perry didn't like the guy, but he didn't want him dead! He looked around wildly for the gun, and suddenly it was a race to get it.

"Here we are," Phineas proclaimed. "The tallest building in Danville." He dug several feet of bungee chord out of his backpack. "Let's secure them around these square air vents."

Isabella and Buford did as he said. They were all suited up in wetsuits, since there was no way Phineas could order bungee jumping gear without his parents noticing. Heck, those fools thought he was up in his tree house. They may be idiots, but they weren't completely oblivious.

Besides, Ferb would certainly tell.

He couldn't believe the spoil sport his stepbrother had become. Suddenly rules were all that were important to that Brit. Phineas couldn't stand being around him when he was like that; it would certainly destroy all his creativity.

He checked his bungee chord, testing the tension. Perfect. He had made all the calculations the night before. It was as safe as riding a bike down the driveway.

"Ready, Isabella?" he asked, grinning and offering his hand.

Isabella smiled happily and accepted. She took Buford's hand in her free one. "One," she said.

"Two," said Buford, and his voice shook with fear.

"THREE!" Phineas cried, and they jumped.

As they fell, their hands separated, each of them breaking off to enjoy the freefall individually. The pavement was rushing towards them. Any second now, the chords would snap them back up. It would all go according to plan.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz beat Perry to the gun, snatching it off the table and pointing it at his nemesis. "You know," he began, "perhaps I won't feel so depressed if I just kill you off instead, hm? Then I won't leave Vanessa all alone, and I can go to L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. as a hero. Wouldn't that be grand, Perry the Platypus?"

Perry grabbed the barrel of the gun, trying to redirect it from his beak. He managed to get under it and punch Doof in the stomach. The pain caused the evil doctor to pull the trigger, and Perry was certain he was done for.

The blasting pain never came. By some divine miracle, the bullet had gone straight out the window. Perry sent a silent prayer of thanks to the platypus god.

Doofenshmirtz, however, had rushed to the window to watch the path of the bullet. He was holding a severed rope that seemed to be hanging from the roof. "Uh oh," he said.

Phineas was flying. The rope snapped back up a mere few feet from the concrete, frightening all the people who were walking along the sidewalk. He laughed at their fright. He was being pulled up, up, up, almost to the height of the roof again. Isabella was above him, a look of horror on her face.

"It's fine," he yelled to her as he began his descent again.

"PHINEAS!" she shrieked.

Perry heard Isabella's cry, and he rushed to the window next to Doofenshmirtz. He took in the fact that Isabella and Buford were still bouncing up and down the entire length of the building, and that he could see three ropes hanging from the roof. Perry looked down and saw that the people down below had created a circle around something. He wasn't sure what it was, but there was a lot of red.

Slowly, the pieces connected in his platypus mind. A stunt like this could only be pulled off by Phineas and Ferb. And since Buford and Isabella were still bouncing, and since there were three ropes initially, someone must have fallen. And it was either Phineas, Ferb, or Baljeet.

Any of those three would cause his masters great misery.

Perry was hardly aware of what he was doing. Only one thing was certain in his mind, and that was that Doofenshmirtz had fired the gun that had severed the chord. His forepaws curled in Doof's shirt, and he felt his face contort in fury as he was beak to nose with his archenemy.

"I didn't mean it, Perry the Platypus!" Doof insisted. "How was I supposed to know people were bungee jumping off my building? It's not a common occurrence, you know."

It was the only time Perry truly wished he could speak. Instead, he reached out and clenched Doofenshmirtz's throat. "Grrgrgr," he said, making the chattering noise that was his only verbal communication.

Only when Doof had passed out did Perry realize what he was doing. He let go immediately. Revenge wasn't important now. Seeing who had fallen was. With that, he raced out of the apartment and down the building, finally scrambling on all fours to the scene of the fall.

The authorities had arrived. Lights flashed and sirens wailed.

"It's a kid," someone in a uniform said. "He jumped off the building."

"No, he's got a rope. I think he was trying to bungee jump."

"Look, there's two more still bouncing."

"Get them down, stat."

Isabella was crying. Buford was in shock. "What happened?" they demanded. Perry scurried under her legs, anxious to hear what had caused the—he swallowed—death of Phineas.

"We… we were bungee jumping, because we'd never done it before, and… and everything was working just fine, and all of a s-s-sudden Phineas's chord was broken. I didn't hear it snap but I heard a bang, and then he… he… he FELL!" she cried, and broke down in fresh sobs.

"What's his name? Do you know his parents' phone number?"

"Ph-Phineas Flynn," she managed, and proceeded to recite the number.

Perry was in shock. His masters had always survived the crazy antics they pulled, whether they thought they were in danger or not. And Phineas was never without Ferb. Where was he? Why would Phineas risk something so dangerous without his brother present?

"What happened?" Jeremy wondered. He and Candace were walking hand-in-hand when they came across the mob of people and emergency vehicles blocking their path. He slipped out of her grasp. "Hold on," he said, "I'm going to check it out."

Candace waited patiently, counting the moments he was gone. 310 seconds later he reappeared, looking pale. "Well?" she inquired. "What happened?"

He swallowed and shook his head, not speaking. All he did was take her hand and lead her away. Finally, once they had walked all the way to Candace's street, he spoke. "It was Phineas," he said quickly.

Candace gasped. "You mean he's out of the house when he's grounded? Oh, they are so busted!" She turned around, already dragging Jeremy away.

"It was just Phineas," he informed her.

Candace paused. "No Ferb? How odd. What was Phineas doing?"

Jeremy swallowed and looked close to tears. "Lying there," he said.

She looked at him expectantly, clearly not understanding.

"Bleeding," he said finally, and once again he tried to block out the memory. He closed his eyes, but all he could see was Phineas, lying face down on the sidewalk at a painful angle. There was blood; so much blood that it ran in rivers and pooled near his head. He remembered the whites of bones poking out of his back and through the wetsuit, saw his teeth poking through his lips.

However, the worst part had been his eyes. Phineas's eyes were open, the whites dirtied by fragments of cement and blood. They were stretched open, as if they were shocked, and they were so very lifeless.

"He was hurt?" Candace guessed.

Jeremy shrugged. "He's… dead, Candace." He didn't even let the news sink in before he gave a sharp tug on her arm. "Let's go tell your parents."

Ferb had turned his socks inside in and paired them up according to frumpiness. He then had arranged them artistically in his sock drawer. He was about to list every project they had done during the summer alphabetically from memory when he heard his mother scream.

Curious, he poked his head out to see her standing in the kitchen, the phone lying on the floor. She was shaking. Ferb stepped out. "What's wrong, Mum?" he asked.

Linda turned around, tears already leaking out her eyes. She opened her mouth, ready to speak, when the front door burst open.

"MOM!" Candace screeched, tearing into the kitchen. She was a wreck, her face red and eyes swollen with tears. "Phineas is DEAD!"

Ferb actually stumbled backwards. What? Impossible! They had just gone bungee jumping, that's all. To prove it, he picked the phone up from where it rested at his mother's feet and pressed the receiver to his ear.

"Ma'am? Ma'am, are you still there? Your son Phineas was just killed when he tried to bungee jump off the DEI building. It appears something cut through the rope while he was falling—."

Ferb slowly pulled the phone from his ear. It couldn't be. It simply couldn't be. Phineas was his invincible brother, who had survived every maniacal stunt of every summer with him. There was no way he was taken out by… by mere bungee jumping!

"Lawrence," Linda said, the word alone a cry for help. "Lawrence!"

Ferb's father came down the stairs, holding the screwdriver he had been using to dismantle Ferb's bed. "Yes, dear—what's wrong?"

She looked at her hands, then back at him. "Phineas," was all she could say.

Immediately Lawrence was worried. He dropped the screwdriver and took his wife's hands. "Now tell me what happened, Linda," he said a fast, soothing tone that wasn't accomplishing its purpose. In fact, it just revealed how worried he was. "What happened?"

"Phineas!" Linda yelled again, lengthening the word like it was a battle cry. Her voice choked with sobs and her legs gave way. She and her husband sank to the floor, Lawrence still not sure as to what happened and trying to calm her down.

"Ferb," he asked, seeing his son, "what's the matter, what happened to Phineas?"

Ferb blinked, and suddenly found he could not speak.

"It he hurt?" guessed Lawrence. "Kidnapped? Run away? What's happened?"

He tried to force words to come, but all that came out was a terrible strangled noise. Lawrence turned to Candace, who was in worse shape than her mother. "Candace?" he asked.

Candace cast a glance at Jeremy, who had wrapped his arms around her in an effort to comfort her. "Phineas is DEAD!" she screamed, and fell back into a fresh round of sobs.

Ferb had seen his father do many, many things, but the one stunt he had not witnessed was tears. And, as Lawrence's eyes began to sparkle, Ferb decided he did not want to. Silently, he retreated back to his room and closed the door. It did nothing to block out the wails of his mourning family.

Ferb tried to take a deep breath, only to find that his throat was dry and hot. His eyes began to sting, his knees grow weak. He slid against his bedroom door until he hit the floor. Abruptly he was reminded of sitting under that tree in the backyard with Phineas, and he forced himself to stand up again.

Phineas was gone now. He would never, ever do that again.

The realization of that caused Ferb to lose control. He wasn't a wailer, like the rest of his family, but never had he shed so many tears, not even when he found out his real mother had died. He made sobbing noises that he never thought could come out of his throat. His vision blurred with tears. He couldn't believe it.

And, the whole time, all he could think of was how this was so very much his fault.

It was probably the biggest attendance to any funeral ever in Danville. Linda and Lawrence didn't even know half the people who showed up, because every delivery man, every guy named Steve, every person who helped make the boys' day the "best day ever" was there.

Despite all these people, Ferb felt very alone. His mourning outfit was stuffy and uncomfortable in the summer heat. He walked around with Perry in his arms, wondering what to do with himself. The day his brother had died, Ferb had cried himself dry. He had no more tears to shed, and much preferred to wait until everyone else had left to pay his true respects to Phineas's closed casket. Of course he had done the whole ceremony thing, walked up to the casket after his parents and sister and done it publicly, but it hadn't felt sincere with everyone watching.

Perry chattered sadly, and Ferb petted his head in consolation. He wasn't sure the creature understood what was going on, but it was nice to think he did.

Soon, everyone had publicly said goodbye to Phineas in his coffin and was now mingling while the pallbearers were getting ready. Ferb took the opportunity to approach his brother's casket. He stared into the glossy cherry wood, seeing his own warped image. At first, he did not move, only blinked at himself in the shine of the wood. Finally he placed his hand on the wood, though the gesture did nothing to comfort him, or make him feel closer to his brother.

His mind was spinning with the millions of things he wanted to say, like how he wished he had gone bungee jumping with him, because if he had, maybe this never would have happened. He wanted to tell him how he thought it was dastardly of him to do something like what he did with Isabella when his only motive was rebelling against his parents. Isabella would be crushed if she knew, he told Phineas silently.

Ferb imagined his brother's peaceful face lying on the pillows of the coffin, though that was hardly the case. He knew the body was mangled and cut and not meant for human eyes. A small part of him could not help but feel Phineas deserved it.

He wanted to tell Phineas he hated him for what he did to Candace, what he did to him. He wanted to say how betrayed he felt, and at the same time he wanted to grovel in apology for how he had acted. They were brothers, right? Brothers didn't fight, or hate each other, or do any of the things he and Phineas had done to each other the past few days.

There were so many things Ferb wanted to say, and all that came out was "I'm sorry." Plain and simple.

Blinking, he patted the coffin with a sense of finality, and left Perry to say goodbye. He doubted the platypus would do anything, but it couldn't hurt.

As Ferb shuffled away, Perry stood upright and snuck around to the back of the casket. Major Monogram had given him the day off to say goodbye to Phineas.

Perry stood on the other side of the coffin, where no one could see him. He whipped out his hat, placed it on his head, and took it off again in salute. Phineas had been a good master. He would never forget him.

Assuming his cover as a mindless house pet again, Perry crawled off to find Ferb.

The pallbearers came out not long after that. Ferb was too distracted by his inner turmoil to pay attention to them. As if it were a dream, he watched them lower the coffin into the freshly dug grave and bury it. He only just heard his parents and sister crying. Briefly he saw Isabella bawling into the sleeves of Baljeet.

Most of it did not register until he realized that everyone had left, that the sky had long since darkened and that he was standing all alone in the cemetery before his brother's grave. Maybe his mother had tried to make him leave, or perhaps they had all decided he needed his space and left him alone. It wasn't like it mattered.

Ferb blinked in puzzlement. Why was he still here? He had nothing left to say to Phineas. Hands shoved deep in his pockets, Ferb turned around and left the cemetery in silence. He walked home slowly, counting the lines of sidewalk that passed under his feet.

He entered the house wondering why he did so. All that he could hear was the madly depressed sobs of his family, loud and raucous. It was impossible to think with all that noise, so he went upstairs to his former bedroom. The one he had shared with his dead brother.

The room was strangely quiet compared to the sob fest downstairs. He saw that his old bed had been disassembled, the mattress leaning against the wall. Almost warily, he sat on Phineas's bed. He glanced at the Sharpied writing of "S. S. Phineas" on the side, remembering the day his brother had penned those letters onto the rubber of the raft.

The room felt very empty. Ferb noticed a paper lying on the pillow, slightly crumpled and marked up with various notes. The plans for the bungee jump, he realized. Apparently no one had been in the room (or at least given a good look around it) since that day. Gingerly he picked up the paper and read over it. Completely flawless, as always. A freak accident had taken Phineas, not an error in his calculations.

Not the absence of Ferb checking his work.

This hurt Ferb, strangely. It showed that his brother could have gotten on perfectly fine without him. He wasn't really needed.

Ferb closed his eyes and crushed the paper into a ball. He tossed it blindly, already knowing it would land in the metal trash bin that sat next to the dresser. Fine, Phineas, he thought. I don't need you either.