User blog:Raging Blast/Story Reviews

Well, this is something I bring from another wiki I am/was active on (still hasn't decided if I'm still active). It's reviews.

Here's how it works...


 * 1) I make a grade list.
 * 2) You request me a story to be reviewed.
 * 3) I read it, then write the pros and cons about it. And finallu, I rate it.

NOTE: These are my honest reviews. I will be objective with them and will try not to be biased. I don't want to ruin my current/possible friendship with these reviews.

NOTE: I'm not a machine. If I get a lot of reviews, it will take me weeks to do them.

NOTE: The rating P is only given to near-perfect articles, so I doubt that anyone will get it. You should look at A as a very good grade. P is exceptional. P+ is perfect, but I doubt anyone will get it.

Also, I will only review stories. Things like songs, pictures etc. I won't...

Ratings

 * P-Phintastic
 * A-Excellent
 * B-Very Good
 * C-Good
 * D-Meh
 * E-Bad
 * F-Lame

Pros

 * The vocabulary is decent.
 * The story is readable even if the grammar is poor.
 * The story is somewhat interesting.
 * Maze being destroyed is a really interesting part, and also sticks to the canon where Perry and Doof destroy stuff etc. It was funny and unpredicted.
 * High-five for Connor with Asperger's. I have many Aspie traits too. (this is a biased pro, but I can't help it)

Cons

 * Well, I'd say the name of the fic is a bit odd and long.
 * Lack of comas used...
 * Phineas and others just appear in the tent. What? And how did the man magically get there? It is unexplained...
 * ""Still sleeping, Heinz screams "Curse you Perry the Platypus."" There was no explanation of Doof sleeping... Similar mistakes to this one happen...
 * As one reads, lots of stuff is left unexplained. I realize you wanted not to reveal anything, but some more explaining would be good.
 * "When he is done he makes sure all the machinery he double checks the machinery." What does that mean? Lack of puncation and capitalizing of the letter. The sentence like this is senseless...
 * What exactly is eye fluid? The stuff that the tears are made of?
 * The story is repetitive a bit.
 * Why did Connor do the experiment at all? And why with his friends if so?
 * How could the wolves possibly be in the mase? Does it have several entrances? If so, you should have told that.
 * Linda is somewhat OOC.
 * The happenings are to some point unbeliveable, even for P and F.
 * Phineas is somewhat OOC.
 * "Phineas says "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today."" Wasn't the mase what they were gonna do? It is highly unlikely that Phineas says that sentence twice a day.
 * 2nd time: Poor grammar...
 * (This is the connor page problem, but I've just read it xD) It says Connor is an Aspie. The term "Aspie" isn't related to bunch of people, you should change that into Asperger's Syndrome.
 * Etc.

Closing Comments: I'd prefer to not read the story until the end, as I feel the Cons list will increase, and the Pros list would hardly do so... This story had good aspects, but lots of bad ones. The poor grammar and impropper puncation made the reading worse... If the reader wants, I'll read to the end, but I feel there's no need for it.

Five-Words Summary: Really bad, barely interesting story...

Final Rating: E+

Pros

 * The 1st person view adds a nice touch to the story.
 * Decent grammar and spelling.
 * Switching between Phineas and Isabella is came out good, with some awkward moments.
 * It's interesting. Not a lot, but interesting indeed.
 * The fan-fic is easy to read. I like that. It's simple, but interesting.
 * Grammar correction of Isabella was a nice touch to the story, gives reality to it.

Cons

 * The name of the fic is kinda awkwards, and really says pretty much everything about the story...
 * A minor con, but I think the Ferb is too much talkative at some parts.
 * It may be my not extreme knowledge of Isabella, but I think she's a bit OOC.
 * Phineas' answer to the xenon tetrafluoride exists isn't exactly the answer to what he asked.
 * Candace answering to Phineas about who is she drawing and her acting is a bit OOC. She appears to seem embarassed at some points including Jeremy. I'd say that her answer to "Whatcha drawing?" would be "It's none of your business!". I may be wrong at this point.
 * "O M G" 'nuff said.
 * The drawing of Isabella's cousin is bad... Without it, the article would look better I'd say.

Closing Comments: This story was nice. It was interesting and characters acted as themselves for most of the time. The 1st person turned out great, fitting this story. Although it has some flaws, the story is decent. I am looking forward for the continuation.

Five-Word Summary: Decent, has a few flaws.

Final Rating: C+

To Do List

 * Phineas's Mistake
 * A British Werewolf in Danville
 * The Rise of Doofenshmirtz